Programming with Javascript libraries

The eternal battle between Squidward (the seasoned developer) and Patrick (the well-meaning but clueless colleague) strikes again! For the uninitiated, F5 is the refresh key - the one frontend developers slam repeatedly while testing changes, hoping their CSS will finally cooperate. The joke brilliantly plays on the double meaning: being a "frontend developer" doesn't actually mean you're afraid of page loads (refreshes)... but let's be honest, after the 47th refresh when your div still won't center, maybe we are all a little F5-phobic. SpongeBob's panic is every senior dev watching junior devs confidently explain concepts they clearly don't understand during standup. "STOP IT PATRICK, YOU'RE SCARING HIM!" is basically code for "please stop talking before the client realizes we have no idea what we're doing."

Content Frontend vs Backend of an Incident We are currently investigating HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING? We have identified the cause of the problem HURRY, PUSH THE FIX!!! We have resolved the problem Thank god that worked!

Content OK I've tried everything, I can't make the image files any smaller Really? So actually, I did look in the console, and what I saw was a whole lot of Javascript! More than 900KB of Javascript libraries in fact. Maybe you could make some savings there... But look, look how slow the site is loading! Check out the console, there are a bunch of icons that ore 12KB each! 12KB for an icon, that's crazy! You could reduce them a lot by exporting them as SVG, or even pure CSS! Don't look at that. Javascript is not the same Now go optimize your PNGs CommitStrip.com

A robot existential crisis in four panels. The poor mechanical fellow questions its purpose (16-bit integers), only to discover it's been completely obsoleted by UTF-16 encoding. Like finding out your job has been automated... by a more efficient version of yourself. That moment when you realize you're the legacy code nobody wants to maintain anymore. At least COBOL programmers still get calls sometimes.

Every developer's internal reaction when a non-technical friend starts with "I've got an app idea." The threatening pose perfectly captures that mix of dread and irritation we feel when someone's about to pitch their "revolutionary" app that's basically "Uber but for hamsters" or "Facebook but people are nice." What they don't realize is they're the 500th person to think they're the first to come up with it, and no, we don't want to build it for free in exchange for "exposure" or a mythical 2% equity that'll totally make us rich someday.

The pedantic programmer strikes again! While normal people casually say "age is just a number," the developer in the room can't help but interrupt with their technically correct but socially oblivious correction. In most programming languages, age would indeed be stored as a string when input from a form before conversion—a fact absolutely nobody asked for or needed to know at that moment. It's the coding equivalent of responding "actually, it's spelled 'you're'" to someone pouring their heart out in a text message.