JavaScript: Hell's Official Programming Language

Ah yes, academic literature—where JavaScript and Java are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I've thoroughly researched programming" like casually dropping "(or Java)" as if they're interchangeable aliases. That's like saying "I'll drive my Ferrari (or bicycle)" to work today. This is the same energy as textbooks claiming HTML is a programming language or that "the hacker known as 4chan" is a person. No wonder Stack Overflow exists—it's to recover from the brain damage caused by reading these educational masterpieces.

The tiniest blue sliver in this pie chart is what actual programmer humor looks like. The massive orange chunk? That's just an endless loop of "Java bad, Python slow, JavaScript bad, senior developer is god" posts. It's basically r/programmerhumor in a nutshell—where original jokes go to die and recycled language wars thrive. The irony is that the people making these memes probably just finished their first "Hello World" tutorial and suddenly think they're qualified to roast entire programming languages. Next week they'll discover arrays and make a meme about how they start at 0.

Content Jack Forge liked Samina saminacodes 1h I'm looking for an entry level web developer to join my team - must know fundamentals of web HTML, CSS, and Java - 10 vears of experience with Vue - must work 80 hours a week - be willing to relocate to Ababwa Paying 10 an hour. Serious inquiries only. 42 17 18 M 164 T

Content Normal Devs: Check for Security issues, audit their code, fix bugs. WebDevelopers: If we write the vulnerabilities faster than the hackers find them, we're good. A TS JS

Two senior devs staring intensely at a screen trying to center a div - the most elusive achievement in CSS. Eight years of experience, six-figure salaries, and yet here they are... squinting at margins and padding like they're deciphering ancient hieroglyphics. The eternal frontend struggle captured in feline form. After trying flexbox, grid, and 17 StackOverflow solutions, they'll eventually just add margin: 0 auto and call it "responsive design."

Content Young male virginity on the rise Share of men under age 30 who report zero female sex partners since they turned 18. 60 50 50 40 40 Node.js Released 34 30 30 27 g 20 10 7 1989 2008 2018 2020 2022 2023 2024 Source: General Social Survey THE WASHINGTON POST