Impossible Request

Content Nicholas White 3rd Software Engineer YouTuber in G Follow Hey guys I'm hiring some software engineers to help me build a simple portfolio website. Requirements listed below Required - 5 years of experience scaling a production web application to millions of users - 10 years of experience with NextJS and Typescript - 3 years of robotics experience using ROS - Familiar with popular digital signal processing techniques - Ph.D. in Parapsychology and Biochemistry - Expertise with assembly language and crypography - Some knowlege of blockchain technologies Please reach out if you meet these requirements. This position is UNPAID

Content Recursive cat ProgrammerHumor.

The programming language family portrait is absolute gold! C is clearly the dignified patriarch, while his rebellious son JavaScript is going through that punk phase we all pretend never happened. Meanwhile, C# is the well-behaved child who still gets good grades despite being raised by Microsoft. Java sits there looking completely normal and mainstream (just like its enterprise usage), while PHP awkwardly exists as the kid nobody talks about at family reunions. Objective-C is that cousin who's slowly being forgotten since Swift came along, and Lisp is just happy to be included despite being ancient. The best part? They're all dysfunctional yet somehow related—just like actual programming language inheritance!

Ah, the sweet release of framework fatigue! That moment when you've been drowning in an endless sea of JavaScript frameworks—React today, Vue tomorrow, Svelte next week—and finally say "nope, I'm done." The spiritual rebirth of crawling back to jQuery feels like emerging from a baptismal pool of complexity. No more dependency hell, no more webpack config nightmares, just good ol' $('.selector').doStuff() and suddenly you're sleeping like a baby again. Framework FOMO? Cured! Who needs 17MB of node_modules when you can have a single 30KB file that just works? It's like trading in your experimental rocket ship for a reliable bicycle—sure it's not as flashy, but you'll actually reach your destination without exploding!

Content mi.jobs Well-capitalized Seattle start-up seeks Unix developers Jeff Bezos 82294 Well-capitalized start-up seeks extremely talented CCUnix developers to help pioneer commerce on the Internet. You must have experience designing and building large and complex (yet maintainable) systems, and you should be able to do so in about one-third the time that most competent people think possible. You should have a BS, MS, or PhD in Computer Science or the equivalent. Top-notch communication skills are essential. Familiarity with web servers and HTML would be helpful but is not necessary. Expect talented, motivated, intense, and interesting co-workers. Must be willing to relocate to the Seattle area (we will help cover moving costs). Your compensation will include meaningful equity ownership. Send resume and cover letter to Jeff Bezos: mail: be..netcom.com fax: 206828-0951 US mail: Cadabra, Inc. 10704 N.E. 28th St. Bellevue, WA 98004 We are an equal opportunity employer. "It's easier to invent the future than to predict it." -- Alan Kay

Ah, the classic developer passive-aggressive error message. Instead of just saying "endpoint not found" like a normal person, this dev decided to write a whole novel about the user's life choices. The highlighted code shows what happens when a 404 error occurs during a password reset - rather than blaming the system, the developer crafted an elaborate user backstory involving forgetfulness, remembering, logging in, account deletion, and then clicking a stale link. That sarcastic "Wow! What a journey!" at the end is the digital equivalent of a slow clap. I bet this dev also names variables after their exes.