Impossible Request

Content Anonymous 030713(Thu)15:27 No. 32091513 Replies: 232092610 32092927 32091493 Regexing with several editors: acme: Oh, I want to execute a regular expression on my text here. Here I go. I take my mouse hand off my keys. move my mouse hand to my mouse grip the mouse with my mouse hand I move the mouse to the tag strip on top of the editing buffer click the tag strip I release the mouse move my mouse hand to the keys I write the regex I take my mouse hand off the keys I move my mouse hand to my mouse grip the mouse and press da butans drag the mouse over the regex to highlight it I release da butans I watch as my regex hopefully does what it needs to do on the first try. move the mouse to the editing buffer to continue inputting text I release the mouse move my mouse hand to the keys FINALLY start typing again. Emacs: press both foot pedals press meta shift control sysrg play the moonlight sonata on the two extra leopards while requesting Regex-Mode with the headstick hit the electric cymbals strapped under my arm and while putting the shift-stick I have gripped tightly with my sphincter into turbo mode signal my two assistants to turn their keys in unison, NOW! input the regex release all keys and watch as emacs gracefully rearranges the text vIm: escape or equivalent :sfoobarg enter continue editing

Content What is the value in the variable? A: object Object undefined B: D: "42" NaN imoflip.com

Found in the wild depths of npm: a package called "react-buttplug" that connects React to... well, exactly what you think. The description "Here there be WASM" is the cherry on top of this cursed sundae. The fact that someone spent actual development hours creating a React provider for Buttplug.io (a real "intimate hardware" API) and then published it with that name is peak developer humor. Five years later and zero dependents - shocking absolutely no one. This is what happens when you tell developers "you can build anything" without adding "but please don't."

Content My reaction to errors Syntax error Library not found HeapBuffer overflow Segmentation fault ProdrammerHumor.io

The eternal battle of naming conventions. Developers physically recoil at the sight of userId with its camelCase blasphemy, but experience pure ecstasy when encountering the sacred snake_case user_id . It's not a preference—it's a religion. The underscore is basically the holy symbol of database column naming.

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE... NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TORUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. 5: DISREGARD ANY NEED FOR TESTING. A TESTING PHASE ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TOROND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTIONI 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATING CELO 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORITY. THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BEUP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLUE THINGY CAME War and Peas