When You Ask A Programmer To Apologize

Someone counted the letters between 'i' and 'z' and decided that's why we can't have more than 18 nested for loops. Because clearly, the limiting factor in your code isn't the stack overflow, processor meltdown, or your will to live - it's the English alphabet. Next up: arrays can only have 26 dimensions because we ran out of variable names.

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Ah, the universal programmer trauma of dealing with datetime ! The teacher asks what students are struggling with, and the unanimous response is datetime handling. This is basically a support group for developers at this point. Every programmer has had that moment where they're confidently coding until they need to calculate time differences between Tokyo and New York, and suddenly they're questioning their career choices. UTC, ISO-8601, DST changes, leap seconds... it's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube while blindfolded and riding a unicycle. The fact that even seasoned developers break into cold sweats when someone mentions timezone conversion is the industry's dirty little secret.

Ah, the "write once, run anywhere" Java promise gets absolutely skewered here. Sure, Java's cross-platform compatibility is technically impressive, but at what cost? Bloated JVMs, memory-hungry applications, and that unmistakable sluggishness that makes every developer silently weep while waiting for their IDE to load. Just because something can run everywhere doesn't automatically make it a blessing to humanity. It's like bragging about a universal adapter that weighs 10 pounds and requires its own suitcase.