The C# vs Java Holy War: Bird Edition

Content Have you ever heard the tragity of Darth malloc the wise? I thought not. It's not a tale Java would tell you, It's a C legend. Malloc was a C function so powerful and so wise that it could use machine language to allocate memory itself. It had so much knowledge of machine code it could create dynamically sized arrays. Unfortunately he taught free everything he knew and one day free deallocated all of its memory. Ironic. It could allocate memory for others, but not itself.

Oh man, the eternal while(alive) loop of a developer's existence! 😂 This is basically our source code as humans who code! We're just NPCs running the same four functions until our process terminates. The best part? That repeat() function that makes this an infinite recursive nightmare - because apparently eating, sleeping, and coding wasn't enough torture! And there's no break statement in sight! Whoever wrote this algorithm for developer life clearly had a sick sense of humor!

Content Omonbude Emmanuel BUDESCODE To replace programmers with Robots, clients will have to accurately describe what they want. We're safe. 7:25 PM 20 Jul 20 Twitter for Android

Content I've interviewed a lot of people over the last year (Java), and my favorite test is to throw a Stack Trace at them and ask them to figure out what the problem is. The answer is actually quite clear, however. Half of them don't know it's called a stack trace. Some don't know what they're looking at (BYE!). Several focus on the wrong section of proprietary code. Some ask to "open a debugger". however the answer is right there in plain english if you just read the method names. Many don't realize the line numbers are RIGHT THERE, and then start focusing on the lines ending with "Compiled Code". Then there are the ones who work their way up from the bottom, starting with the application container code, and lose their minds. Some who figure out what is happening don't have a solution to prevent it from happening. No, I'm not sharing the trace; suffice to say it's been reviewed by more than 5 of my peers and they all passed. Like Reply 1h Edited I mean, it isn't hard to eliminate people with a coding question. Do you find it impossible to teach people how to read text stack traces, or is this a skill without which they will be unable to do anything of use, or do you just not want to hire anyone? 1 am serious. 1 can come up with dozens of useful programming skills I can test a candidate on that most perfectly skilled programmers would fail. Start with eliminating people who can't code at all. Then find out what they can do that could be useful. If I have 5 people who can already take a printed out stack crash dump, I probably don't need another, and if I do, a qualified candidate can be taught that skill by someone who knows it in under a week. Then again, maybe you work for Stack Trace Inc, and your entire job is looking at stack traces. If so, by bad. Like Reply 22m

Content Sid M siddharthkp buying a domain is like getting a gym membership you hope the guilt of spending money will make you actually work on the project but it doesn't 3:09 PM 27 Jun 20 Twitter for Android 1,104 Retweets 6,357 Likes 17 8

The top panel shows the simple, elegant approach to coding that we all pretend to advocate for in design meetings: just instantiate a class and call a method. Clean. Direct. Sensible. But then there's what we actually do when no one's watching (bottom panel): create an unholy chain of factories, managers, services, observers, and other enterprise patterns that would make even the most dedicated architecture astronaut blush. It's the classic "I could write this in 3 lines, but my resume needs buzzwords" approach. We've all been there—turning a simple task into a dissertation-worthy implementation because "scalability" and "best practices," when really we just wanted to flex our design pattern muscles.