The Royal Proclamation Of PC Maintenance

The joke that never gets old, unlike your GPU! When Nvidia "displays their entire stock" of RTX 3080s in 2020, they're literally showing the ONE card they had available. Four years later and we're still experiencing the same supply chain theater - fancy press releases followed by six months of "out of stock" notifications. Scalpers continue to be the real GPU architects, designing elaborate systems to separate you from your money while you desperately try to run Cyberpunk above 30fps. The crypto bros may have moved on, but somehow graphics cards remain as elusive as documentation that actually matches the codebase.

What happens when Richard Stallman designs transportation? You get this monstrosity - a vehicle so free it's practically anarchist. The license plate says it all: pure, unfiltered hatred for proprietary drivers. This is peak FOSS evangelism on wheels. The solar panels aren't just for energy - they're a political statement. And of course Windows are bloat - they probably add at least 2GB to the car's weight. The stuffed GNU mascot instead of a rearview mirror is just *chef's kiss* - safety regulations are just another form of proprietary control anyway.

The transparent keyboard cover—humanity's greatest defense against feline code contributions. Some developers spend years debugging their applications, while others just need to prevent their cat from accidentally pushing to production. Notice how the cat still tries to assert dominance by standing on the keyboard anyway. Nature, uh, finds a way... to ruin your git commit history.

Spending $2500 on a high-end developer laptop only to join standup meetings looking like you're broadcasting from a witness protection program is the tech industry's greatest irony. Phone manufacturers pour millions into camera R&D while laptop makers apparently salvage webcams from 2005 flip phones they found in a dumpster. Nothing says "I'm a professional software engineer" quite like having your face rendered as an impressionist painting made of exactly 12 pixels. The best part? We'll spend hours optimizing code to save milliseconds but accept video quality that makes us look like we're being viewed through a rain-soaked window. Priorities!

When someone reduces your entire professional identity to "rainbow computer with 2 monitors," it's both wildly inaccurate and... completely accurate. The audacity of non-developers to think our job is just pretty lights and extra screens! Meanwhile, we're silently judging them while surrounded by our RGB keyboards, light-up mousepads, and triple monitor setups we "absolutely need for productivity." The duality of being offended while knowing they've basically nailed it is the eternal developer paradox.

That moment when someone learns you're in "computer science" and immediately assumes you're tech support. Sure, I can reverse a binary tree, implement a neural network, and debug race conditions, but no, I have absolutely no idea why your laptop makes that weird clicking sound. I mean, I could look at it, but that would set a dangerous precedent where I become everyone's personal Geek Squad. My algorithm for handling these requests is simple: blank stare, slight smirk, change subject.