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Back when computers were slow enough that you could actually see them thinking. Running defrag wasn't about optimizing disk performance—let's be real, you just wanted to watch those colorful blocks shuffle around like the world's most boring Tetris game. You'd leave it running for hours, occasionally checking in like "oh nice, that red cluster moved three pixels to the left." The best part? Your drive would go from 21.80% fragmented to maybe 0.62%, and you'd feel like you just gave your PC a spa day. Meanwhile, modern SSDs are sitting there laughing because fragmentation doesn't even matter anymore. Kids today will never know the simple joy of watching 687 fragmented files slowly organize themselves while you pretend you're being productive. Fun fact: This was basically the Windows XP/Vista era's version of a screensaver, except it made your computer sound like it was about to achieve liftoff.

You've got 16 GB of RAM and somehow 15.7 GB is already spoken for before you even open Chrome. Just sitting there at idle, breathing heavily like it just ran a marathon. By 2026, apparently having 16 GB will be like showing up to a gunfight with a butter knife. Your OS alone will probably need 12 GB just to display the wallpaper, and don't even think about opening Slack or Teams. Those apps will take one look at your remaining 300 MB and laugh. Remember when 4 GB felt like luxury? Yeah, those were simpler times. Now Electron apps are out here treating RAM like it's free real estate, and every background process thinks it's the main character. The future is now, and it's extremely memory-hungry.

So Gaben drops $20 million on OpenAI back in 2018, probably thinking "yeah, let's democratize AI or whatever." Fast forward to 2026 and whoops—turns out that investment just made the Steam Machine 2.0 prohibitively expensive because AI hype inflated GPU prices to the moon. Nothing says "unintended consequences" quite like funding the very thing that torpedoes your own hardware launch. The domino effect is real, and Gaben just knocked over the first piece himself. Classic tech industry move: solve one problem, create three more.

FAANG is SO 2019, darling. We've officially entered the MANGO era – Meta, Anthropic, NVIDIA, Google, and OpenAI. Because nothing says "I've made it in tech" quite like working for companies that are either building the metaverse nobody asked for, creating AI that writes better code than you, manufacturing GPUs you can't afford, monopolizing search results, or developing chatbots that are stealing your job. The new dream companies where you can burn out in STYLE while contributing to humanity's inevitable replacement by machines. At least FAANG had Netflix to chill with – now we just have existential dread and GPU shortages!

Spent $1200 on a new GPU thinking it would solve all your gaming woes? That's cute. The crushing reality of modern gaming is that no matter how beefy your hardware gets, devs will find new and exciting ways to make poorly optimized games that still require you to dig through config files like it's 1998. The circle of life in PC gaming: upgrade hardware → realize games still run like garbage → back to tweaking .ini files while questioning your life choices. Rinse and repeat every GPU generation.

Jensen Huang really out here catching strays for making GPUs so expensive that Microsoft and Nvidia became household names for draining corporate budgets. But you know what? The man deserves credit where credit is due. He didn't just create a tech company—he created "Microslop Nshitia," the beautiful merger of bloated software and overpriced hardware that perfectly encapsulates modern tech. Your AI model needs 8 H100s to run? That'll be the GDP of a small nation, thanks. Want to train anything? Better get that enterprise license from Microsoft Azure while you're at it. It's the perfect ecosystem: Microsoft provides the cloud infrastructure to burn money, and Nvidia provides the GPUs to set that money on fire even faster. The Drake meme format really captures the vibe—rejecting the individual corporate overlords but fully embracing their unholy alliance. Because if you're gonna get fleeced, might as well get fleeced by the dream team.