Next Gen Consoles Be Like

The moment you get that computer science degree, everyone suddenly thinks you're the designated IT support person for the entire extended family. Nothing says "I've made it as an engineer" quite like being handed a printer that hasn't worked since Windows XP and being told "you can fix this, right?" The girlfriend bringing home a friend's printer is the final boss of unpaid tech support. Six years of algorithms and data structures for this glorious moment.

Ah, the classic Scooby-Doo unmasking format but with a cybersecurity twist! Your CPU's pegged at 100% and you're thinking it's just normal load... until you pull off the mask and—surprise!—it's actually a sophisticated state-sponsored backdoor quietly mining crypto or exfiltrating your data. That xz exploit in a nutshell. Eight months of silent operation before anyone noticed. Just another Tuesday in infosec where the real villains aren't wearing monster costumes, they're wearing nation-state budgets.

The eternal struggle of every software engineer on Earth. Tell someone you code for a living and suddenly you're the designated IT support for their ancient HP inkjet that's been spitting errors since 2007. Listen, I can build distributed systems that handle millions of requests, but printer drivers exist in a special hell dimension where programming logic doesn't apply. Printers were clearly invented by demons to make us question our career choices. Next family gathering, I'm telling everyone I'm a professional dog walker.

The epic showdown nobody expected: Old-school pirate-themed game engines vs. modern anime girl physics engines! Left side shows "THE STRONGEST GAMEDEV IN HISTORY" with a menacing skull pirate that ran smoothly on a Pentium II with 4MB of RAM. Meanwhile, "THE STRONGEST GAMEDEV OF TODAY" features a cute anime character whose hair physics alone requires a NASA supercomputer and makes your GPU beg for mercy. Your RTX 4090 isn't sweating because of ray tracing—it's calculating each individual strand of that anime girl's hair during a gentle breeze.

When the hotel advertises "high-speed internet" but you show up and it's just two ethernet cables you need to physically connect between buildings. Sure, technically it's a "direct connection" with "no router bottlenecks." Next they'll tell me their cloud service is just a USB stick taped to a weather balloon.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of our expectations vs. reality! You dream of becoming a tech SUPERHERO with your fancy multi-monitor setup—surrounded by holographic displays, controlling the digital universe with your fingertips like some kind of coding wizard! 💫 But then REALITY comes crashing down harder than a server during Black Friday sales! Two crusty beige monitors from the Jurassic era, mismatched resolutions, different brightness levels, and the pièce de résistance—a water jug strategically placed to block your view! The dream of productivity MURDERED by cable management nightmares and display settings that refuse to cooperate! We've gone from Iron Man to Iron Can't-Even-Make-These-Screens-The-Same-Height Man! 🤦‍♂️