Messing About In BIOS

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like your entire Apple ecosystem deciding to update simultaneously at 12%. The laptop's upgrading, the phone's boot-looping, and the iPad's doing... whatever iPads do when they're stuck on the Apple logo. It's like they all got together and said, "You know what would be fun? Let's all brick ourselves on Christmas morning." The best part? You can't even Google the error codes because your phone is also dead. So you just sit there, watching progress bars move slower than your sprint velocity, wondering if maybe this is a sign to spend time with your family instead. Spoiler: it's not, you need to fix this ASAP. Pro tip from someone who's been there: always keep one device NOT updating. It's called redundancy, and it's not just for production servers.

Picture a heist crew planning their next big job, except instead of stealing diamonds or cash, they're targeting... RAM sticks from an AI datacenter. Because in 2026, apparently DDR5 modules are more valuable than gold bars. The joke hits different when you realize AI datacenters are already running hundreds of terabytes of RAM to keep those large language models fed and happy. With AI's insatiable appetite for memory growing exponentially, RAM prices are probably going to make GPU scalping look like child's play. Ten minutes to grab as much RAM as possible? That's potentially millions of dollars in enterprise-grade memory modules. The real kicker is that by 2026, you'll probably need a forklift just to carry out enough RAM to run a single ChatGPT competitor. Each server rack is basically a Fort Knox of memory chips at this point.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this pun! Someone actually glued a RAM stick to a literal leek vegetable and called it a "memory leek." I'm DECEASED! 💀 This is what happens when programmers go grocery shopping after debugging for 48 hours straight. Next thing you know they'll be putting thermal paste on their sandwiches and wondering why their CPU is still overheating. The Windows laptop in the background is just silently judging all of our life choices right now.

So AI already brutally murdered RAM and is currently swinging at RAM's poor cousin (Crucial brand, nice touch). But wait—there's still one more door to kick down: the GPU. And honestly? GPU manufacturers are probably sweating right now because AI's appetite for VRAM is absolutely insatiable . First, AI workloads ate all your RAM for breakfast with massive language models and training datasets. Then they came for your storage with multi-terabyte model checkpoints. Now they're eyeing your GPU like it's the final boss in a horror game, except the boss always wins. Your RTX 4090? Cute. AI needs a server farm with 8x H100s just to load the model weights. The real kicker? While gamers are out here celebrating their 24GB VRAM cards, AI researchers are like "yeah that'll hold my model's attention layer... for one token." The GPU shortage wasn't a crypto thing—it was a preview of coming attractions.

Remember when game devs were literal coding demigods who could squeeze a full RollerCoaster Tycoon into Assembly language and fit shooters into kilobytes? Now we've got bearded dudes stealing breast milk while shipping 500GB games that still need a "day one patch" bigger than entire operating systems from the 90s. Modern AAA game development has truly evolved from "how can we optimize this to run on a potato?" to "just buy a new PC, peasant." And don't forget the always-online single player games because heaven forbid you enjoy content you paid for without a constant internet connection. The industry went from "first few levels free as shareware" to "that'll be $70 plus $20 for the season pass, $15 for the cosmetic DLC, and $10 for the soundtrack we removed from the base game."

Ah, the Chrome trade agreement. Google's browser offers you the worst deal in the history of deals, possibly ever. You hand over 9.6GB of precious RAM and get... a single browser tab. Not even a whole browsing experience—just one lonely tab. The memory leak is so bad you could water plants with it. Meanwhile, your computer fans sound like they're preparing for takeoff while you're just trying to check the weather. And yet, here we are, still using it. Stockholm syndrome is real in tech.