My Copy Is Safe

When GitHub asks for your password but you haven't used it since they forced everyone to switch to personal access tokens. The mysterious GitHub entity with its ominous backdrop demands credentials while the poor developer, blissfully unaware, types "coder" like it's 1999. Then reality hits - support for password authentication was nuked back in August 2021. That moment when muscle memory meets obsolete security protocols. Your fingers remember what your brain forgot.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this kernel developer confessing his darkest sin! 💀 Using a GUI for Git is basically like admitting you put pineapple on pizza while working at an Italian restaurant. The command line purists are literally SHAKING right now. Meanwhile, she's having an existential crisis because deep down she knows that even she has installed GitKraken during moments of weakness. The shame! The horror! The convenience of drag-and-drop merge conflict resolution!

The ultimate Git soundtrack for those weekend coding sessions! Someone created a Spotify playlist with tracks that perfectly capture the emotional rollercoaster of version control. From the hopeful "Pull It" and "Push It" to the triumphant "Committed," the playlist quickly spirals into the all-too-familiar territory with "My Computer is Dying" and "Catastrophic Failure." And the grand finale? "F*** This S*** I'm Out" - the universal anthem played right after running git merge on the wrong branch at 11:59 PM on Friday. Only 17 minutes long because that's exactly how long it takes for Git to destroy your weekend plans.

That desperate look when you're silently begging your coworker to review your monolithic PR because you've gone rogue and changed half the codebase in one commit. We all know the best practice is small, incremental changes, but some days you wake up and choose violence. Your team's Slack is suddenly silent, senior devs are "in meetings" all day, and you're left with that 200-file monster that started as "just a quick refactor." Good luck explaining those 8,000 lines of changes in the standup tomorrow!

When your commit history is less about productivity and more about spelling profanities with green squares. Nothing says "senior developer" like meticulously planning commits to spell "SEND NUDES" across your GitHub profile. Probably took more effort than the actual code it represents.

The diagram perfectly captures the infinite loop of developer optimism. You start with a brilliant idea, immediately create a new GitHub repo, then excitedly tell everyone in Slack how you're "revolutionizing" something. Then... straight back to having another idea without ever writing a single line of actual code. It's the software development equivalent of buying gym equipment in January that becomes an expensive clothes hanger by February. The only thing missing is the 3am caffeine-fueled README.md that promises features you haven't even conceptualized yet.