In Case Of Fire: Git Commit, Git Push, Git Out

This meme perfectly captures that moment of pure dread when your "it's just scaffolding" PR turns into a code apocalypse. You confidently hand over your pull request to the senior engineer, only for them to discover you've somehow managed to change 741 files with nearly 100,000 additions and 44,000 deletions. That look of absolute horror on the senior dev's face is worth a thousand compiler errors! Next time maybe try explaining that you were "refactoring the architecture" instead of "accidentally committing the entire node_modules folder." The scaffolding excuse works about as well as "the dog ate my deployment keys."

Welcome to the Linux kernel's GitHub page, where the pull requests are apparently doubling as Tinder profiles. Nothing says "I understand open source contribution" like announcing your relationship status in a PR title. What's next? "Fixed memory leak, also I do CrossFit"? "Optimized driver code, btw I'm vegan"? "Patched security vulnerability, anyone want to see my cat pics?" And 504 open PRs? Linus must be having an aneurysm somewhere. The only thing getting merged here is desperation with code.

Who needs Dropbox when you've got unlimited repos? The real GitHub pro move isn't collaboration—it's exploiting that sweet, sweet free storage. Nothing says "senior developer" like having a private repo called "vacation_pics_2023" with 500 commits that are just JPEGs of your dog at the beach. GitHub staff probably wondering why someone needs to version control 8GB of wedding photos with commit messages like "final_final_ACTUALLY_FINAL.jpg".

In the tech kingdom, having 500 GitHub followers makes you actual coding royalty. Meanwhile, 2 million YouTube subscribers is just another Tuesday for content creators. The brutal truth? That GitHub knight earned those followers through blood, sweat, and carpal tunnel—one commit at a time. No algorithm boosting you for saying "smash that star button." Just pure, hard-earned respect from fellow developers who actually understand what you're doing. 500 GitHub followers means you've probably saved thousands of developers from contemplating career changes at 3 AM.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of mentioning you're an open source developer on a date and expecting anyone to stick around! 💀 The second panel's empty chair is the ULTIMATE ghosting move. Like, honey, did you really think announcing your unpaid coding hobby would make someone swoon? Next time just say you're unemployed - it's basically the same thing but sounds less pretentious! The dating pool just EVAPORATED faster than RAM in a memory leak!

OH. MY. GOD. This coworker just committed a CRIME against humanity! They aliased git push to git push -f ?! That's like replacing someone's regular coffee with ROCKET FUEL! 💥 For the uninitiated, git push -f is the NUCLEAR OPTION of Git commands - it FORCES your changes to the remote repository, OBLITERATING any commits that might be there. Your team's carefully crafted code history? POOF! GONE! VANISHED! It's basically telling Git, "I don't CARE what's on the server, MY version is the truth now!" This is the digital equivalent of setting your workplace on fire because you're tired of the printer jamming. That branch isn't just toast - it's INCINERATED, CREMATED, and scattered to the winds! 🔥⚰️