Do You Feel In Charge?

Treating yourself like a software project is peak developer energy. While everyone else is promising to hit the gym, this guy's posting a changelog for himself like he just pushed to production. The real joke is thinking any of those bugs will actually get fixed before next December's emergency hotfix. At least he didn't label it "various performance improvements" which we all know means "I broke something but can't figure out what."

Someone asks what's the difference between Git and GitHub, and gets a technically accurate yet wildly inappropriate analogy. The answer has 124 upvotes because developers appreciate both version control and questionable metaphors. The real tragedy is that 91% upvoted the original question instead of just typing it into a search engine.

You know you're in deep when you can't even come up with a commit message. Writer's block is staring at a blank page, but programmer's block is staring at a terminal with git commit -m "" and your brain just... nope. Nothing. Not even "fixed stuff" or "updated things" comes to mind. Just that blinking cursor mocking your entire existence. At least writers can blame the muse—we just blame Monday.

The primal scream of every developer who's ever written "working" code that's held together with duct tape and wishful thinking. That moment when a coworker clones your repo and starts "improving" your carefully crafted spaghetti code is pure terror. Sure, we all know our code is technically garbage—a beautiful dumpster fire of hacks and workarounds—but it's our garbage, dammit! Nothing triggers the territorial developer instinct faster than someone messing with that fragile house of cards you somehow got working at 3AM. Branch protection rules exist for a reason, people!

Jumping into DevOps without Linux fundamentals is like trying to swallow those giant horse pills without water. Trust me, I've watched countless "Docker experts" crash and burn because they couldn't troubleshoot a basic shell script. The title "Also Git" is perfect - because Git is another one of those deceptively simple tools that will absolutely wreck your week when something goes wrong. Nothing quite like the cold sweat of a botched rebase on production code at 2AM. Been there, broken that.

The eternal workplace dichotomy exposed! Designers panic when new talent arrives—"Am I not enough?" they sob, fearing their pixel-perfect creations will be outshined. Meanwhile, engineers channel their inner Caesar from Planet of the Apes with "Apes together strong," embracing the reinforcements like it's another node in their distributed system. Why? Because designers fight for creative ownership while engineers know that more hands means someone else can debug that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch. The git commit history doesn't care who wrote it, just that it works!