Just Make It Exist First

The gaming industry's version of "works on my machine." Someone's proudly showing off Stellar Blade's PC port selling a million copies in 3 days, while gamers are sitting there like Patrick Bateman with that smug smile thinking, "Cool story, but where's that Bloodborne PC port we've been begging for since 2015?" Nothing like watching executives celebrate the wrong win while the community's actual requests collect dust in some Sony basement. It's the corporate equivalent of fixing the office coffee machine when the servers are on fire.

Ah, NVIDIA's market strategy in a nutshell. Become absurdly wealthy selling GPUs that cost more than my car, then act shocked when developers complain about memory limitations. It's like a billionaire asking why you don't just buy a bigger house when you complain about storage space. "What's that? Your AI model doesn't fit in 8GB VRAM? Have you considered remortgaging your home for our $4000 model instead?" Meanwhile, developers everywhere are writing increasingly creative memory optimization hacks just to avoid selling a kidney for more VRAM. The tech equivalent of fitting an elephant into a Mini Cooper.

DARLING, the computer said "Tell a programmer to up VERTEX_BUFFER_SIZE" and I am LITERALLY just the messenger! 💅 What am I supposed to do? Learn C++? Sacrifice my firstborn to the GPU gods? The error message has SPOKEN, and who am I—a mere mortal user—to question its divine wisdom? The audacity of this game engine thinking I have ANY idea what a "dynamic vertex buffer" is! It might as well have asked me to explain quantum physics while juggling flaming chainsaws. I'm just trying to play my game with friends named "asbestosmuncher" and "Cock of the Block" like any normal person!

When you're showing off your 3D modeling skills to non-technical friends and they can't tell the difference between a basic capsule primitive and your meticulously crafted character with proper topology, UV mapping, and rigging. That moment when you've spent 8 hours tweaking vertices and they're like "cool bean shape with eyes."

Started with "let's make a simple Pac-Man clone" and ended up building the next Skyrim. The eternal curse of the hobby developer - your brain whispers "just one more feature" until your weekend project needs its own Jira board and development team. The graveyard of GitHub is littered with these ambitious skeletons of what was supposed to be "just a small side project."

Behold the majestic stick figure - the pinnacle of programmer art! When code wizards are forced to venture beyond their comfort zone of beautiful brackets and elegant functions, this masterpiece emerges. It's that magical moment when your boss says "we can't afford a designer" and suddenly your CS degree transforms you into Picasso with MS Paint skills. The artistic vision is... minimalist? Yeah, let's call it minimalist. 🎨