How To Become A Millionaire As A Game Developer

The four horsemen of the gaming apocalypse: opening Steam, scrolling through your massive library, realizing you don't want to play any of those games, then closing Steam. It's the same energy as staring into a fully stocked fridge and declaring "there's nothing to eat." Except you paid $3,000 for those leftovers during various sales. And you'll do it again tomorrow.

When your code review gets a perfect score for being absolutely terrifying. That's not a bug report, it's a trauma report. The reviewer gave it seven hearts because they're still alive to write the review, which is more than we can say for their sanity. Legacy codebases should come with this exact warning: "If you're a fan of spaghetti code, give it a shot. If you value your mental health, stay FAR away."

The gaming hardware arms race continues to claim victims. Just when you thought your Nintendo Switch 2 with its fancy 120hz refresh rate and HDR support was the pinnacle of portable gaming, Valve's Steam Deck enters the chat and shatters your reality. It's like bringing a calculator to a math competition only to find your opponent brought a quantum computer. The sheer existential crisis on that man's face says it all—the moment you realize your tech is already obsolete before you've even finished the unboxing video.

The ultimate workplace camouflage technique - hiding Valorant among Adobe apps. Because nothing says "I'm definitely working on that design project" like having a tactical shooter disguised as just another creative tool. The boss walks by and sees a screen full of Adobe icons, while you're actually planting spikes and getting headshots. The stealth level is truly maxed out when your excuse for yelling "CLUTCH!" is "just excited about this Photoshop filter."

The PC Master Race waiting for Steam sales like it's life support! That glorious 80% discount is basically oxygen for gamers with empty wallets. Notice how the Metacritic score and "Overwhelmingly Positive" reviews are the IV drip of validation—because we're not just cheap, we're efficiently frugal . Nothing says "financial responsibility" like waiting 6 months to buy a game for the price of a sandwich.

The eternal divide between developers and gamers. While we're sweating over whether our ancient GPU can render one more Docker container without catching fire, the gaming kid next door is just happy his $2000 RTX card can run Minecraft at 500 FPS. The true irony? We'll end up buying the new card anyway, telling ourselves it's "for work" while secretly installing Steam at 2 AM.