Don't Release On Friday

When free money meets corporate trickery! 💸 This poor soul got BAMBOOZLED by their own IT department who set up a fake phishing test disguised as a $20 voucher email. The classic "too good to be true" trap that we ALL would've fallen for! Now they're stuck in mandatory security training purgatory, probably watching those soul-crushing videos about not clicking suspicious links... while dreaming about what they could've bought with that non-existent $20. The skull emoji says it all - they're DEAD inside! This is the corporate equivalent of your parents saying "just kidding" after promising you ice cream. 😭

Startup life in a nutshell! While corporate devs get neatly defined roles, joining a startup means you're simultaneously the backend architect, frontend designer, DevOps wizard, QA department, and the person who fixes the coffee machine. The "Yes" response is just the beginning - by month three you've built a microservice architecture single-handedly while also managing investor relations and ordering office snacks. The "23 personalities" isn't a disorder, it's your actual job description!

The daily life of a developer in an "agile" environment that's about as agile as a concrete truck. 100 standups, 100 sprint plannings, 100 backlog refinements, and a 10-hour retro... EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! The One Punch Man parody perfectly captures that moment when your manager thinks all these meetings somehow make you more productive. Meanwhile, your actual coding time has been reduced to those precious 7 minutes between your 2:53 PM and 3:00 PM meetings. Who needs to write code when you can talk about writing code instead?

That moment when your mental wellness is doing a spectacular belly flop off the waterslide while your project deadlines just sit there sipping coffee, completely unmoved by your suffering. The code won't write itself, but your sanity is definitely writing its resignation letter. Seven sprints in and the burnout is real, but those JIRA tickets keep multiplying like rabbits with a productivity fetish. Management's solution? "Let's add a wellness channel in Slack!" Yeah, that'll fix everything.

Parents: "Study hard or you'll be a failure!" Meanwhile, software developers on Sunday: *sprawled on the ground with a beer* living their best life while making six figures. The kid's comeback is pure genius. Why stress about homework when you can stress about production deployments instead? At least the latter pays for your alcohol therapy.

Your showerhead has a more active commit history than your GitHub profile! That green tile pattern is clearly mimicking the GitHub contribution graph, with its varying shades of green squares representing daily activity. Meanwhile, your actual GitHub profile is probably just a barren wasteland of white squares with the occasional green dot from that time you fixed a typo in a README.md file. Nothing like being roasted by your bathroom fixtures about your lack of coding productivity.