Don't Release On Friday

Ah, the classic "I could learn your entire career in 9 days" delusion! Nothing screams Dunning-Kruger effect quite like someone claiming they could master APIs, databases, and AWS deployment infrastructure in just over a week. The perfect response from our hero: "An actual coder would not make this comment." Brutal, efficient, and absolutely correct. It's like watching someone claim they could become a brain surgeon after watching a YouTube tutorial. And then the cherry on top - the original poster doubling down with "I could learn in 8 or 9 days" while completely missing that running production systems requires experience no bootcamp can provide. Sure, buddy, and I'll be playing Carnegie Hall after a weekend with a piano app.

The duality of Linux is just *chef's kiss*. In most places, it's a janky mess held together with duct tape and Stack Overflow answers from 2011. Try running that fancy CAD software? Good luck explaining to your boss why you're compiling kernel modules instead of finishing those blueprints. But in the IT industry? Linux is an absolute BEAST. Server rooms around the world run on this penguin-powered juggernaut, handling everything from cloud infrastructure to supercomputers without breaking a sweat. Your cute little Windows server would cry if it had to handle what Linux manages before breakfast. The irony is just delicious - the same OS that makes desktop users question their life choices is silently powering most of the internet you're using to complain about it.

That feeling when your pull request finally gets approved after 47 code reviews, 18 requested changes, and 3 weeks of waiting... You're not just a developer anymore—you're royalty . Sitting on that throne of merged code, looking slightly uncomfortable because deep down you know your hastily added console.log() statements are still in there. The kingdom is yours until QA finds that edge case you totally forgot to test.

The galaxy brain moment when you convince yourself that spending 48 hours automating a task that takes 20 minutes is somehow "efficient." But let's be real—we're not doing it to save time. We're doing it because manually repeating the same task feels like psychological torture, and writing that script gives us the same dopamine hit as solving a puzzle. Sure, we'll never recoup those hours, but our fragile programmer ego can't handle the thought of doing something "the easy way." It's not laziness, it's... "future-proofing."

The mysterious art of Scrum Mastery: show up to standup, ask "any blockers?", update a Jira dashboard, and somehow that's a full-time job. Meanwhile, developers are grinding through 47 tickets and wondering what dark magic keeps this person employed. The true genius of Agile isn't the methodology—it's convincing management you need a dedicated person to ask "can we wrap this up, we're at 16 minutes" every morning.

Ah, the classic IT heroism gone wrong! 🚲 Picture this: IT department spots an outdated ODBC driver (that ancient database connector nobody remembers until it breaks) and thinks "I'll just quietly update this real quick!" Next thing you know, the production environment is doing its best impression of a bicycle crash - face-planted into the pavement with wheels still spinning. It's that special kind of tech disaster where everyone was just trying to help, but nobody thought to ask "hey, should we maybe tell someone before we yank out the digital rug?" The road to production hell is paved with well-intentioned driver updates!