When You Know Multi-Threading Is The Problem

Writing 1,000 lines of C++ to save 0.4 seconds compared to 10 lines of Python. That's like building a nuclear reactor to toast bread. Sure, your program runs faster, but you spent three weeks debugging memory leaks while the Python dev went home at 5pm. But hey, those microseconds really matter when you're waiting for the coffee machine anyway.

Ah yes, the classic "my tests pass in isolation" syndrome. The soldier in camo is proudly directing deadly weapons away from the sleeping person, congratulating himself on his amazing unit tests. Meanwhile, production code is getting absolutely shredded by edge cases that the tests never bothered to check for. Sure, your function works great when you pass it exactly what you expect... shame users don't read your mind and follow your undocumented assumptions.

Junior: "Where's documentation?" Senior: "I AM THE DOCUMENTATION!" The final boss of every legacy codebase isn't the complexity—it's the grizzled veteran who wrote it all and never bothered documenting a single line. Why write comments when you can just be summoned like some mythical creature whenever something breaks? Nothing says job security like being the human equivalent of a 600-page technical manual that nobody wants to read.

Left side: A perfectly normal, readable singleton pattern implementation in C#. Nice clean code, proper indentation, sensible variable names. Right side: The C# 8.0 "Gary version" with questionable syntax choices like ? , ??= , and => operators all crammed into one line. The code technically works but looks like someone had a seizure on the keyboard. Gary is the personification of that one developer who uses every new language feature in a single line just because they can. The kitten is cute though, which makes the abomination of code slightly more tolerable.

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The gaming industry's version of "it works on my machine." Bethesda's approach to game engines is like that senior dev who refuses to update their 15-year-old codebase because "it still compiles." They built Morrowind and Oblivion in a metaphorical cave with a box of scraps, and now they're stuck with that legacy code forever. Meanwhile, gamers waiting for Elder Scrolls 6 are like junior devs begging for a rewrite while management keeps saying "I'm sorry, but I'm not" approving that request. The Creation Engine is basically the PHP of game development—somehow still powering everything despite everyone complaining about it.