We Are Done When I Say We Are Done

The classic programmer's defense mechanism in its natural habitat! A massive military aircraft has smashed halfway through a hangar wall, and someone's slapped "It's not a Bug" on the top image. Then the bottom shot shows the same disaster with "It's a Feature" plastered on it. This is basically the software development equivalent of watching your code crash spectacularly in production and then convincing your product manager that users actually wanted their data obliterated. "No no, the application isn't destroying your files - it's streamlining your storage requirements !"

The pinnacle of debugging assistance right here! Some poor dev is trying to fix a critical issue with... *checks notes*... a toolbox inside another toolbox in what's clearly a game. No logs, no details, just existential despair and a vague description that reads like it was written during a sugar crash. The real bug is this bug report. It's the equivalent of telling your doctor "something hurts somewhere sometimes" and expecting a precise diagnosis. Even better is the "Debug Information" section that's as empty as my will to live after reading this. Next time you think your documentation is insufficient, remember this masterpiece that managed to combine the eloquence of a toddler with the technical precision of a drunk fortune teller.

Content I see this as an absolute win!

JavaScript: where NaN is a number, empty arrays are equal to zero, but not really, and adding three booleans equals exactly 3... sometimes. It's like the language was designed by someone throwing darts at a board of random programming concepts while blindfolded. The real kicker? That smug face at the bottom belongs to Brendan Eich, who created this beautiful mess in just 10 days. And now we're all stuck with type coercion that makes "91"-"1" equal 90 because... reasons. No wonder debugging JavaScript feels like trying to solve a murder mystery where everyone, including the detective, is lying.

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): edev EDEV BAStename exist ok True) actidir CONDA BASEename etccondaac deacdir CONDA BASEename etcconda os.makedirs (acti dir, exist ok True) exists eon acti dir'edevon.sh' cot a deac dir redevo fash os.symlink(BIN'edevon. sh', con) if not os.p os.symlink(BI edevoff.sh'eoff Syntax eror on token throws interfoce exp Syntax erfor on token expected after this iC Syntax error, insert: SimpleName: to complete Q Syntax error, insert Identifier ( to complete Meth Syntax error, insert " to complete MethodDecia Syntax error on token expected Java(1610612 syntax error on tokens exoected alter this toke Syntax error, insert y to complete interfaceBod The method SileAnalysish is undefined for the tuie FUNNY COLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS

Content Thread Computer programming Kat Maddox ctrishifti me: why isn't this working? normal languages: you screwed up over here me: oh thanks me: why isn't this working? javascript: me: please i'm begging you javascript: C 9:40 AM Aug 18, 2020 Twitter Web App 350 Retweets and comments 2.1K Likes