The Five Stages Of Debugging Grief

Content Me debugging My boss watching me add another random breakpoint

Content Why would a fly land on something like this? Rats should be ashamed for falling in this trap BEARS!! This is ridiculous! datascience memes Hey could you please help me with this error, it would hardly take 5 minutes Okay

Content TOP DEFINITION C y f 3 A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont.spp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8VC include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorTy, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocatorMain::Cont while trying to match the argument list '(std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd :allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line'

Content Java NOO00000000!!!! YOU CANT USE POINTERS THEY ARE DANGEROUS AND PRODUCE MANY BUGS!!!!!! haha int p goes brrrrrrr

Content These are some of the error messages produced by Apple's MW C compiler. These are all real. (If you must know I was bored one afternoon and decompiled the String resources for the compiler.) The compiler is 324k in size so these are just an excerpt I hope. I'm not sure where I stand on the copyright issue. Tony Cunningham "String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)" "..And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'" "a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program" '''Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible" "You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler" "This struct already has a perfectly good definition" "type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)" "Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says so, that's why)" "Huh ?" "can't go mucking with a 'void ! "we already did this function" "This label is the target of a got from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding '' inside this comment makes me suspicious" "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)" "Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer"

That moment when you realize your WHERE clause went missing and you just rewrote half the company's customer data. The cold sweat. The panic. The desperate hope that someone's going to tap you on the shoulder and say "just kidding, there's a backup." But deep down, you know... your resume needs updating faster than those 12 million rows you just mangled.