The Twenty-Second Coding Messiah

The four stages of developer grief: euphoria when your code finally works, the misguided confidence to "improve" it, the soul-crushing realization that you've unleashed 258 bugs, and finally the existential void where your will to code once lived. That moment between "it works!" and "let me refactor it" is the shortest-lived happiness in programming. It's like finding a $100 bill and immediately using it to buy lottery tickets. Pure self-sabotage, but we never learn.

Nothing says "we have no idea how our payment system works" quite like threatening users with financial ruin for using basic browser functions. The developer who built this clearly had a nervous breakdown after discovering their stateless web app couldn't handle the concept of a browser history. Instead of fixing the actual problem, they just slapped a scary red warning and called it a day. Classic case of "it's not a bug, it's a feature that requires user documentation in ALL CAPS and panic-inducing red text."

Content WHEN MY CODE DOESN'T WORK AFTER HOURS OF DEBUGGING Kyle kvleve Computers. What a mistake 11:11 AM Sep 20, 2022 from San Francisco, CA Twitter for Mac

When VS Code decides it's had enough of your spaghetti functions and infinite loops. That error message might be fake, but the feeling is painfully real. Every developer knows that moment when your editor might as well just say "I give up" instead of pointing out the actual syntax error on line 347. The only thing missing is VS Code slowly clapping while it watches you struggle through your 5th refactor attempt.

Every junior dev thinks they've invented encryption when they discover Base64. The number of times I've had to explain that encoding ≠ encryption is probably why my hair's thinning. Base64 is just fancy dress for your data – anyone can undress it with zero effort. It's like hiding your house key under the doormat and calling it a security system. And the response is always the same: "Fine! I'll just use Base128 then!" Sure buddy, throw more digits at the problem. That'll fix it. Just like how writing your password in bigger letters makes it more secure.

Content hi web developer, i need you to fix this thing that's happening on our website that only happens on my computer because i have 30 browser extensions and an environment that's impossible to troubleshoot thanks, one client per day