A Tale Of Two Bugs

Product Manager: "I want developers to lower me into my grave so they can LET ME DOWN one last time." Developer: "At least this requirement is clear." QA Engineer: "But is it though? With coffin or without? Which developers? What's the timeline? Need acceptance criteria for 'lowering'. Please clarify the definition of 'grave'. What's our fallback plan if developers are unavailable? Have we considered edge cases like zombie apocalypse?" The eternal dev cycle: PM makes vague request → Dev thinks they understand → QA finds 47 ambiguities that nobody considered. Rinse and repeat until retirement... or funeral.

Content hEROES VILLAINS OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT er d toggl JAVASCRIPT DEVELOPER YoU FiNd A BUG YOU QUICKLY GOOGLE SOMETHING TO PASTE YOU FEEL HEAVY BUT THAT'S OK UnLESS YoU HAVE TO FLY BACKEND DEVELOPER YOU FIND A BUG YOU USE ALL OF YOUr SKILLS AND TOOLS .. TO FIND THE DEVELOPER WHO CAUSED WEB DEVELOPER YOU RELEASE A BUG YOU SQUASH IT, WHICH ONLY MAKES THE BUG MORE ORGANISED UDO TECHNICAL SUPPORT THE USER FINDS A BUG IT'S A FEATURE IT'S A FEATURE QUALITY ASSURANCE YOU CAN'T FIND A BUG YOU BREAK EVERYTHING YOU LEAVE. C DEVELOPER YOU CAN'T FiND THE BUG CAN'T FIND THE BUG. IND THE BUG CAN'T FIN rm -rf MART VIRKUS TOGGL.COM

Four guys staring silently at engine parts is exactly what happens when debugging assembly code. You squint at incomprehensible MOV, JMP, and ADD instructions, desperately hoping someone notices the register that's off by one bit. It's like trying to read a novel where every letter has been replaced with hieroglyphics, and the table of contents is written in hex. The only difference is that car engines occasionally make sense.

When your code doesn't work but your colleague's identical code does... turns out they used 4 spaces for indentation while you're a tab heretic. The compiler/interpreter bows to the spaces like that stubborn child listens to grandma. Nothing triggers holy wars in programming quite like the tabs vs. spaces debate. And somewhere, a senior dev is silently judging both of you while writing single-line code with no indentation whatsoever.

Content The debugger Xcode has a built-in debugger. Unfortunately, a debugger doesn't actually get the bugs out of your programs; it just lets them crash in slow motion so you can get a better idea of what is wrong. Like a police detective, the debugger lets you dig through the evidence after the damage has been done, in order to find the scoundrel who did it.

Content There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug Ultrafacts.tumblr.com cosrnos: lifeofdavo: kierenwalkerpds: monobeartheater: absorr: ultrafacts: Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I'm reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling "WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!" AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE so that's the function of a rubber duck I work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you Tirst start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck doesn't cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks on the problem. One time we couldn't figure out why something wasn't working right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are Source: ultrafacts 254.607 notes