Poorly Optimized SQL: The Empty Promise

Content Storing JSON in a SQL Database

OMG THE DRAMA OF SQL DEVELOPERS AND THEIR CAPS LOCK ADDICTION! 😱 These poor souls are literally SUFFERING PHYSICAL PAIN from writing their queries in ALL CAPS! Cracking knuckles! Neck strain! Leg cramps! And the ultimate villain? That treacherous Caps Lock key just sitting there, MOCKING THEM with its power! The keyboard equivalent of a siren song luring developers into a world where SELECT, FROM, and WHERE must be SCREAMED at the database for it to understand. Because apparently databases are HARD OF HEARING or something?! The SQL language doesn't even care about case sensitivity, yet here we are, DESTROYING OUR BODIES for the sake of tradition! The AUDACITY!

Content Run it again. Even if you didn't change anything. Just do it.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of programmers thinking names are some kind of standardized, well-behaved data! 💅 Names change when people get married, divorced, or just FEEL LIKE IT. They don't follow your precious "first name, last name" format. And sweetie, if you think your system won't encounter Chinese names (or Arabic, Japanese, Korean...), you're living in a fantasy land! And that dictionary of "bad words"? Darling, it's DEFINITELY blocking legitimate names from cultures around the world. Some people literally don't have names! THE HORROR! Welcome to the chaotic hellscape of international name handling - where your beautiful database schema goes to DIE! ✨

Content awayjester199902 6h why do you put 2 equal signs? 2 J the-eclectic-chair 6h In a lot of programming languages, 1 equal sign assigns values to keywords, like 10. However, 2 equal signs makes a comparison. So 1 1 will return True while 1 2 will return False. 17 J icneto 2h And then you have JavaScript with to make sure that your elephant is not an orange. 5 J

Content YOUR SITE TAKES OVER 30 SECONDS TO RENDER AVE BUT IT DOES RENDER