True Story

Ah yes, the revolutionary O(n) sorting algorithm that's "faster than merge sort" — just ask the user to input an already sorted array. Genius level problem-solving right there. This is the coding equivalent of claiming you've invented a teleportation device when you're actually just telling people to walk to their destination. The real innovation is the sheer audacity.

The classic "things are easy when you've mastered them" pattern. Experienced C++ devs saying pointers aren't hard is like billionaires claiming money doesn't matter or supermodels saying looks are irrelevant. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to figure out why our program just segfaulted because we dereferenced a null pointer for the 17th time today. Sure, pointers are "easy" after you've spent 5 years debugging memory leaks and dangling references.

Ah, the C++ programmer's evolution. You start as a bearded wizard with arcane knowledge of pointers and memory management, trudging through life with stooped shoulders from carrying the weight of manual garbage collection. Then you discover "The C++ Programming Language" with its anime girl cover, and suddenly you're skipping through meadows with cat ears. Seven years and 1,500 pages of Bjarne Stroustrup later, and you've transformed from a grizzled code veteran into a kawaii programming princess. Because nothing says "I've mastered multiple inheritance and template metaprogramming" like spontaneously growing cat ears and a frilly dress. Trust me, I've seen it happen to senior engineers. One day they're arguing about pointer arithmetic, the next they're debating the best color for their programming socks. The transformation is inevitable.

The C++ Olympic gold medalist celebrates victory in the first 5 panels, only to get absolutely destroyed by Rust in the final frame. Classic story of our industry - spend decades mastering pointer arithmetic and manual memory management, then some new language comes along with a borrow checker and suddenly you're obsolete. C++17 promised better memory safety features, but let's be honest - it's like putting a band-aid on a chainsaw wound. Meanwhile Rust sits on the podium smugly preventing segfaults at compile time while every other garbage-collected language watches from second place. Ten years of debugging dangling pointers and suddenly I'm supposed to learn ownership semantics? Fine, I'll update my resume.

Patrick claims "C/C++ is a deprecated language" while SpongeBob looks horrified holding an Unreal Engine shield. Then SpongeBob runs into a series of tech ecosystems—first encountering Unity, then Windows, followed by a keyboard graveyard of programming languages, and finally Adobe design tools. The journey ends with SpongeBob escaping to the safety of Linux, where he can breathe again. It's basically the digital equivalent of telling a chef "knives are obsolete" and watching them sprint through the culinary world trying to find someone who agrees. Spoiler: they end up at a Linux commune where everyone makes their own knives from scratch.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this developer flexing their programming superiority with custom license plates! "NLLPTR" and "XCPTN" - aka "null pointer" and "exception" - the twin horsemen of the coding apocalypse! 💀 This is like tattooing your two worst nightmares on your forehead and then DRIVING AROUND with them! Imagine being so traumatized by debugging that you spend actual MONEY to immortalize your pain on your car. Peak programmer masochism right here!