Don't Blame The Intern

Look at these American cloud giants getting the Toy Story treatment. After years of Stockholm syndrome relationships with AWS, Google Cloud, and Azure, European dev teams are finally having their "Jessie moment." Nothing says "I've reconsidered our toxic relationship" like migrating to Hetzner after your AWS bill suddenly includes a 25% tariff surcharge. Sure, the documentation might be in German, but it's still more comprehensible than Lambda's pricing structure. Scaleway doesn't have 47 different database options? Good. I didn't understand the difference between the last 46 anyway.

The classic certification-vs-reality gap strikes again. Someone shows up to an interview flaunting 12 AWS certifications, only to reveal they've never actually touched the AWS console. It's like having 12 different driver's licenses but asking "what's a steering wheel?" when you get in the car. The hiring manager's face says it all - another resume padder who can pass multiple-choice tests but would crash production on day one.

Content rAskReddit Posted by uworldtraveler100 10h What technology are you shocked has not advanced yet? 4 26.8k J 14.6k Share Award BEST COMMENTS RegulatoryCapture 4h 1 Award The legal code. Computer programmers have come up with beautiful collab- orative change tracking systems (like git) that let you easily make changes to a huge base of code, track who changed what, submit and resolve conflicting versions of updates, etc. But when we pass a new bill that replaces or modifies an old law, it is always some 300 page document with pages of "Subsection F Paragraph 3 will be modified to read 'XYZ' Why not put the laws into a git repository and make it easy for bills to just modify the existing history to say what you want it to say? And why not have the transparency to see exactly what changes and WHO implemented that change? Want to slip some pork for your district into an unrelated bill? Well, that edit is going to have your name on it. Of course it will never happen. Reply 928 J imtn 1h Who the heck wrote this ridiculous bill? git blame Ah, I did. 217

Ah, the tech stack of modern civilization depicted as a Jenga tower that somehow hasn't collapsed yet. At the bottom, we've got ASML making the chips while C developers write dynamic arrays that would make any memory manager weep. The Linux Foundation holds up the entire internet while DNS occasionally decides whether your websites exist today. AWS and Cloudflare keep the lights on while unpaid open source developers silently prevent digital apocalypse. Meanwhile, AI sits there looking smug while Microsoft does... whatever it is Microsoft does these days. And there you are, somewhere in the middle of this precarious structure, just trying to make a web app that doesn't crash when someone types an emoji.

Content Generic Name EDUCATION Blue Mountain State, Undergrad September 2018 - May 2022 Graduated with a GPA of 2.33 Minored in Artificial Intelligence with C- grade President of Anime Club PROJECTS Calculator App Supports addition and subtraction and multiplication sometimes. 8000 lines of Java code Built a user friendly interface with command prompt Deployed on AWS 70 code coverage Snoop Dapp Cross platform mobile application built with Ionic Sends a notification at 4:20 am to all users Notifications managed with AWS SQS service Extracts users personal info if notification not acknowledged Stores user information in AWS S3 storage TodoBlock Todo list app constructed on the AWS managed blockchain The decentralized architecture publicly shames the user into finishing their tasks Increased productivity of users by 67 1 111111111 genericnamegmail.com https:github.comGeneric SKILLS Mastered version control with file names Worked extensively with Turing machines ACHIEVEMENTS 13 tshirts from various Hackathons and boot camps

The fearless cloud engineer, who boldly proclaims "I fear no man"... until SSH enters the chat. That moment when your terminal connection drops mid-deployment and your heart skips three beats. Infrastructure as Code? Nah, we're running Infrastructure as Prayer hoping the connection stays alive. Nothing quite matches the primal terror of watching your SSH session hang while you're elbow-deep in production configs at 2PM on a Friday.