I Can Finally Run My AWS Cloud Locally

Content 9:25 4 Junior Java Developer Apexon Brentwood, TN (Remote) Junior Java Developer A raven Brentwood, TN (Remote) 8 hours aan auplicants Full-time Mid -Senior level El o,ur-to, vou employees IT Services and IT Consulting o: See recent hiring trends for Apexon. Try. Premium for free Actively recruiting Apply now Save Job description Responsibilities: Minimum 5 Years of working experience in Java Platform Experience in AWS and kafka and Daren - Dovigring und implementing Java-based applications. Analyzing user requirements to inform application design. Proficiency with fundamental front end languages such as HTML, CSS and JavaScript. Debugging and resolving technical problems that arise. Producing detailed design documentation. Recommending changes to existing Java infrastructure

The modern developer's nightmare spelled out in logos - RETARD : R eact, E xpress, T ailwind, A WS, R edis, D eno. Someone at marketing definitely got fired for not checking the acronym before approving this stack. Imagine the CTO's face during the presentation: "Our revolutionary RETARD stack will disrupt the industry!" *awkward silence* *single cough from the back row* The irony is that individually, these are actually decent technologies. Together? Career suicide in your next standup meeting.

So apparently even the men's room runs on cloud infrastructure now. When AWS goes down, so does your ability to go... down. The ultimate proof that we've over-engineered society: your bathroom privileges are now hostage to Jeff Bezos' server farms. Next time your product manager asks "can we move this to the cloud?", show them this picture of biological functions being denied due to digital dysfunction. At least the bathroom has better error messaging than most AWS status dashboards.

The internet isn't some magical cloud floating in the ether—it's a rickety tower of services precariously balanced on AWS and Cloudflare. And what's holding it all together? A single underwater cable that looks like it could be severed by a curious fish with an existential crisis. One hungry shark away from global digital apocalypse. The next time your boss asks "why is the website down?" just point to this image and say "a tuna had indigestion near Singapore."

Content CATALIN PIT O catalinmpit If your job spec looks like this: HTML, CSS JavaScript, Python NodeJS, GraphQL React AWS Docker Jenkins, Drone Bash scripting Puppet Terraform Kubernetes MySQL, DynamoDB, MongoDB, Aurora You're looking for an entire IT department, not for a developer!

Ah, the dystopian future we've built ourselves! Smart beds that need AWS to function properly is peak 21st century nonsense. Imagine spending $3000 on a bed that suddenly decides to turn into a George Foreman grill because some server farm in Virginia had a hiccup. This is why my grandpa's wooden bed frame from 1962 remains undefeated. Zero cloud dependencies, zero chance of waking up at a 45-degree angle because a DevOps intern pushed to production on a Friday afternoon. Remember when "it just works" meant something actually worked? Now it means "it just works until the next outage, then you're sleeping in a hot dog toaster."