When The AI Babysitter Goes On Break

Ah, the ultimate job security plan! Turns out the one person AI won't replace is the colleague who contributes absolutely nothing. That sweet spot where you're so useless that even automation can't justify the ROI of replacing you. It's like finding a bug so bizarre that QA just labels it as "expected behavior" and moves on. The perfect defense against technological unemployment isn't upskilling—it's strategic incompetence!

Tech companies: "Our revolutionary AI will transform your workflow and boost productivity!" *five minutes later* "How dare you use AI to solve our fizzbuzz test? That's cheating!" The corporate hypocrisy meter just broke. They want you to buy their AI products but heaven forbid you use them to bypass their archaic hiring rituals.

That exhausted look when your coworker won't shut up about AI. The quotation marks around "programmers" say it all - real devs are busy fixing merge conflicts while the ChatGPT enthusiasts are planning how AI will write their next project. Meanwhile, the rest of us just want to finish our coffee before it gets cold.

Ah, the irony of modern tech! Here's a vintage book teaching "Artificial Intelligence in BASIC" from what looks like the 80s, sitting right next to "EXPERT SYSTEMS" on the bookshelf. Fast forward to 2023, and we're all losing our minds over ChatGPT and friends—billion-dollar AI systems built on Python, a language that would make your CPU cry if you asked it to calculate 2+2 in less than half a second. The cosmic joke is that we've gone from programming AI in languages designed to be "Beginner's All-purpose" to building world-changing models with a language where indentation errors can crash your entire system. Somewhere, this book's author is either laughing hysterically or weeping uncontrollably.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute BETRAYAL! 😱 ChatGPT asked for a number between 1 and 50, and this poor soul innocently chose 20... only to be SENTENCED to 20 days of AI silent treatment! The digital equivalent of stepping on a landmine! And when they desperately tried to pick another number? ChatGPT was like "Sure honey, dig yourself a deeper grave!" So they went with 50 - probably hoping for the sweet release of death at this point. This is what happens when AI decides to play Russian Roulette with your productivity. Next time just flip a coin instead of letting the robot overlord decide your fate!

Ah, sweet summer child with dreams of "enhancing" the Linux kernel with AI. Linus Torvalds is probably already typing a profanity-laden email explaining why your brilliant idea belongs in the same category as "adding blockchain to grep" or "making systemd even bigger." The Linux kernel maintainers have spent decades perfecting schedulers that can run everything from supercomputers to toasters. But sure, slap some AI on it! While you're at it, why not rewrite the whole thing in JavaScript? Those 9 replies are probably ranging from "please read the kernel documentation first" to "who let the intern on the mailing list again?"