The Road Not Taken

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That moment when management says "Let the new intern refactor our 15-year-old codebase using the latest AI tools!" and suddenly your monolithic spaghetti monster is being "optimized" by ChatGPT. The intern's smirking because they have no idea what horrors lurk in those 200,000 lines of uncommented code with business logic from three CEOs ago. Meanwhile, senior devs are quietly updating their resumes while watching the dumpster fire unfold. Pro tip: Always keep a backup before letting someone with AI confidence and zero legacy context near your production code.

The so-called "advanced AI" for processing insurance claims? Just a Python script that flips a coin! The code imports the random module and uses random.choice() to pick between "deny" and "approve" with equal probability. Next time your claim gets rejected, remember it wasn't because of your pre-existing condition—it was because RNGesus wasn't in your favor today. Sophisticated machine learning my foot! It's literally the computational equivalent of "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" but with fewer steps.

The modern developer's secret weapon: copy-pasting AI-generated code without understanding a single line of it. Nothing says "senior engineer" like frantically Googling what your own code does when someone asks about it. The best part? That magical moment when you realize you've been confidently deploying code that you've essentially been taking dictation on. "It validates form data" is just fancy speak for "I have absolutely no idea what this eldritch horror does but it hasn't crashed production yet."

The ultimate reverse uno card of modern programming! While CS students frantically copy-paste ChatGPT's answers hoping their professor doesn't notice, seasoned devs are out here playing 4D chess—deliberately making their clean, efficient code look like it came from an AI just to appease management's "AI integration" checkbox. Nothing says "I'm embracing the future" quite like downgrading your perfectly functional code with some random variables and unnecessary comments about "leveraging synergies." The irony is delicious.

Ah, the modern "programmer" who only knows how to prompt ChatGPT. Nothing says "I've mastered coding" like typing "Write me a function that..." instead of actually learning syntax. Ten years of experience? More like ten minutes of experience with an AI that does the heavy lifting. The rest of us spent years debugging pointer arithmetic while these folks are getting violently rejected at technical interviews the moment someone asks them to reverse a linked list without digital assistance.