The Dumbest Man Alive Gets Outplayed

When your portfolio claims "full stack web app with backend" but the entire backend is literally just two Express routes copy-pasted from Stack Overflow and a JSON file pretending to be a database. Sure, it technically has a backend... in the same way a cardboard cutout technically has depth. The "No AI" disclaimer is the cherry on top—gotta make sure everyone knows you typed those two commits yourself, even if one of them was just fixing a typo in the README.

Wanted to draw a duck, ended up with a startup and a beach house. That's what I call failing upwards. Gemini 3.0 apparently doesn't just generate code—it generates entire business plans and retirement strategies. Google's AI has officially reached the "midlife crisis financial advisor" stage of evolution. Next thing you know, it'll be suggesting you invest in NFTs of that duck you originally wanted.

Ah, the Gartner Hype Cycle - tech's emotional rollercoaster! Right now we're all riding that sweet, sweet ChatGPT high at "Peak of Inflated Expectations" where everyone thinks AI will solve everything from debugging your code to fixing your love life. Just wait for that "Trough of Disillusionment" when we realize it still can't figure out why your code works in dev but crashes in production. The real fun begins when some manager inevitably says "Let's use AI to rewrite our entire codebase!" and then blames the junior dev when it hallucinates semicolons in Python.

GASP! The AUDACITY of this so-called "developer" claiming ChatGPT and cursor as programming languages! 💀 The poor father's soul just left his body faster than a recursive function without a base case! Look, sweetie, copying and pasting from AI assistants while frantically moving your cursor around doesn't make you a developer - it makes you the human equivalent of a glorified Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V shortcut with delusions of grandeur! No wonder Dad's kicking him out - he probably also thinks HTML is a programming language and Stack Overflow is his personal code repository!

The ultimate tech resume flex: listing every framework, library, and tool you've ever glanced at for 0.5 seconds. That massive word salad of technologies—from Python to TensorFlow to "purrr"—is peak developer peacocking. The punchline is genius though. Asking recruiters to identify which ones are Pokémon is the perfect trap since several of these actually sound like Pokémon names (looking at you, "sparklyR" and "vulpix"—and yes, Vulpix is actually a fire-type Pokémon). It's the perfect litmus test for technical recruiters who claim to understand what you do but can't tell a data visualization library from something that shoots thunderbolts.

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