The AI Doomsday Prophet's LinkedIn Strategy

Modern programming is just AI shopping. Why solve a problem yourself when you can make five different AIs race to solve it for you? The real skill isn't writing code anymore—it's knowing which AI's hallucinations are least likely to crash in production. The "hit run on all five" part is where the true chaos begins. Nothing says "I trust my code" like throwing five different AI solutions at the wall and seeing which one sticks. Bonus points if you don't actually understand any of them but confidently present the winner in your next code review. The "like a psychopath" is just chef's kiss perfect. Because what's more psychotic than spending 3 hours asking AIs the same question when you could have just written the damn function yourself in 20 minutes?

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern startups! 😱 Some fancy-pants developer shows up to the venture capital party like "I've revolutionized technology!" only to reveal they've created yet ANOTHER ChatGPT wrapper that solves the most insignificant problem known to mankind. It's the tech equivalent of putting a bow on a potato and calling it innovation! The venture capital world is DROWNING in these "groundbreaking solutions" that are basically just AI with lipstick. The pirate's face says it all - that perfect mix of disappointment and "are you seriously expecting funding for THIS?" I can't even with these people!

Nine data professionals standing around watching while one Excel guru does all the actual work. Classic corporate data science theater. The entire AI department, with their fancy degrees and machine learning models, rendered useless by someone who mastered VLOOKUP and pivot tables. That's what happens when you spend $2 million on a data lake but can't figure out how to drain a real one.

The tech industry's selective standards are painfully real. They'll reject a fresh grad for not implementing some theoretical O(n) algorithm they'll never use again, but will happily throw billions at AI models running on brute-force compute that would make any algorithm professor have an existential crisis. For those who don't know, O(n) refers to linear time complexity - basically how efficiently an algorithm scales. Companies obsess over this in interviews then proceed to ignore efficiency completely when it comes to their shiny new toys. Next time you're rejected for not optimizing a binary tree traversal fast enough, just remember - somewhere a data center is melting the polar ice caps to generate a cat picture.

Someone needs to tell Elon about the exponential growth of node_modules folders. While AI might be growing fast, any JavaScript developer knows the true speed champion is watching your disk space vanish as soon as you run npm install . That 5MB project somehow needs 500MB of dependencies, and God help you if you're on a slow internet connection. The real technological singularity isn't AI - it's when a single node_modules folder finally consumes all available storage on Earth.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of developers who think they can sneak AI-generated code into the codebase without anyone noticing! 💅 It's like wearing a neon sign that screams "I TOOK SHORTCUTS!" The second your team reviews that suspiciously perfect yet weirdly alien code, they'll sense a disturbance in the Force faster than Darth Vader at a family reunion. Your code review is about to become more dramatic than a telenovela season finale when everyone realizes you let ChatGPT do your homework!