The #2 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off

First half: "AI will destroy all programming jobs! Web dev is dead! DSA and MERN are obsolete! Only learn ML and chase trends! Stop coding!" Plot twist: "The more people panic and abandon ship, the more job security for those of us who know better." Classic fearmongering followed by the actual 4D chess move. Nothing creates better job security than convincing your competition to quit. The tech industry's version of "This beach is totally haunted, you should leave... alone... with all your picnic supplies."

The cosmic weight scale has a new champion! While astronomers worry about black holes and neutron stars, developers know the true gravitational monsters: Python virtual environments, Node modules, and PyTorch/CUDA installations. Nothing collapses spacetime quite like waiting for npm install to finish or watching your disk space vanish as PyTorch downloads half the internet. At least black holes have the decency to be millions of light years away—your Python venv is right there, crushing your hard drive and your spirits simultaneously.

The evolution of tech support in four painful panels. Reddit: "Stupid." Stack Overflow: "Your question is off-topic." AI chatbot: "That's a very good question." Meanwhile, the kid is asking how to prevent screenshots on a website—something technically impossible but AI will happily pretend it's doable. The cycle of dismissive tech help is broken, but only because AI doesn't know when to say no. Progress?

The butterfly meme has evolved into the perfect representation of our current tech landscape. Non-technical executives pointing at literally any software and declaring "IS THIS AI?" while developers frantically try to explain that it's just a simple if-then-else statement they wrote in 15 minutes. The irony is delicious—we've been using conditional logic since the dawn of programming, but suddenly everything with decision-making capabilities gets the "AI" label slapped on it. Marketing departments worldwide just nodded in silent agreement.

The world map illuminated in four different ways - ports, airports, railroads, and then... complete darkness for "Developers who use Meta AI." Nothing says "I've made terrible life choices" quite like being the only demographic that doesn't show up on a global heatmap. Congratulations Meta AI users, you've achieved what introverts have dreamed of for centuries - complete invisibility! The void stares back, and it's running on Meta's large language model.

Asking how to check LLM code quality without being an expert is like asking how to check if your parachute works without jumping out of a plane. The irony is delicious - you're using an LLM to ask how to evaluate LLM-generated code. It's the digital equivalent of asking a toddler if they think they should have more candy. The answer is always "yes" and always suspiciously in their favor.