SWE-Bench Verified: Thinking Optional

Oh honey, the DELUSION is REAL! 💅 These poor souls thinking they've discovered some revolutionary concept where we'll just "write specifications" and *poof* - code appears! The absolute DRAMA when they realize that writing a "comprehensive and precise spec" is LITERALLY JUST WRITING CODE with extra steps! It's like saying "I've invented a way to avoid cooking - I'll just write extremely detailed instructions for someone else to follow!" Congratulations, you've invented a recipe, which is STILL COOKING! The programmer's smug "It's called code" at the end is sending me to the MOON! This is the software development equivalent of reinventing the wheel and calling it a "circular motion enablement device." I cannot with these people! 😂

OH SWEET MOTHER OF LEGACY CODE! On one side, IBM is using AI to translate ancient COBOL spells into modern Java incantations. On the other, some government agency named DOGE (not the meme, sadly) wants to rewrite MILLIONS of lines of Social Security code in MONTHS?! 😱 This is like watching two different approaches to defusing a nuclear bomb - one careful robot surgeon vs. a toddler with safety scissors and a "can-do" attitude. The entire financial future of American retirees hanging in the balance because someone thought "Hey, let's just YOLO this 60-year-old codebase real quick!" I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it! For the uninitiated: COBOL is that programming language your grandpa used that refuses to die because it runs basically EVERYTHING important - banks, airlines, and yes, your social security checks. It's the digital equivalent of those load-bearing walls you definitely shouldn't knock down during your weekend renovation project.

First panel: Everyone's terrified AI will steal their jobs. Second panel: Suddenly no one has actual production experience. The duality of developers in 2024: Simultaneously convinced AI will replace them while secretly using ChatGPT to figure out how to center a div. The truth hurts because we're all just stack overflow copypasta merchants with impostor syndrome and health insurance.

Ah, the sweet irony of digital existence. Imagine needing a machine to confirm you're not a machine. It's like asking a fish to verify you can swim. We've gone from "I think, therefore I am" to "An AI thinks I am, therefore I am." The existential crisis of 2023 isn't about purpose—it's about convincing algorithms we're flesh and blood while they're busy learning to mimic our every thought. Next up: AIs requiring verification from other AIs that they're authentic AIs. The circle of digital life continues.

GitHub Copilot: "I'll help you debug this code!" Also Copilot: *confidently points out a non-existent capitalization issue while completely missing the actual bug* It's like having a junior dev who speaks with absolute certainty while leading you down rabbit holes that waste hours of your life. The real bug is probably something completely different, but hey, at least Copilot made you feel productive for 5 seconds before crushing your soul. The AI revolution is here, folks - and it's just as confused as we are! 🤦‍♂️

When you ask a shopping assistant for coding help and it actually delivers! Rufus here is like that one Stack Overflow answer that doesn't start with "Why would you even want to do that?" The absolute madlad is out here dropping React tutorials in the Super Glue section. Sure, it warned us it "may not always get things right," but then proceeds to nail a perfect React component tutorial complete with code snippets. Meanwhile, my team's senior devs ghost me for three days when I ask how to center a div.