Stepped In Shit

Microsoft force-feeding developers their AI coding assistant like it's some miracle elixir. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, it's just regurgitating Stack Overflow answers and GitHub repos that developers wrote in the first place. The circle of code life - write code, have it scraped, then pay to have it suggested back to you. Nature is healing.

Ah, the pinnacle of modern tech innovation - changing a loading spinner's text and suddenly becoming an AI company. Because apparently all it takes to join the AI gold rush is making your users think your app is "thinking" instead of just, you know, fetching data from a database. This is the software equivalent of putting on glasses to look smarter. Next week they'll add rainbow colors to the spinner and become a "quantum computing startup." Venture capitalists, please form an orderly queue with your checkbooks ready.

The modern developer's balancing act, visualized with stunning accuracy. That precarious tower of cans represents what's actually holding up your code—a foundation of ChatGPT at the bottom (let's be honest, it's writing half your functions), Google searches above it (for the errors ChatGPT creates), followed by pure dumb luck, ancient GitHub repositories you found at 3 AM, and tutorial videos from that one Indian guy who explains algorithms better than your $200K computer science degree. And finally, at the very top, desperately balancing on this tower of digital desperation? Your actual code—looking just as confused as that dog wondering how it got up there and how long before the whole thing collapses during the next sprint review.

Ah, the eternal dev dream: "Can AI just handle all this data conversion crap so I don't have to?" Meanwhile, every developer who's spent weeks building custom parsers for legacy government PDFs is quietly sobbing in the corner. The real treasury isn't money—it's the sanity we lost converting Excel to JSON. Pro tip: if you want to feel true pain, try parsing a PDF that was originally a scanned document from 1997 that someone converted to Word and then back to PDF again.

The chart hilariously reveals that GPT-5 scores a whopping 74.9% accuracy on software engineering benchmarks, but the pink bars tell the real story – 52.8% of that is achieved "without thinking" while only a tiny sliver comes from actual "thinking." Meanwhile, OpenAI's o3 and GPT-4o trail behind with 69.1% and 30.8% respectively, with apparently zero thinking involved. It's basically saying these AI models are just regurgitating patterns rather than performing actual reasoning. The perfect metaphor for when your code works but you have absolutely no idea why.

OH. MY. GOD. This is the most SPECTACULAR self-own in tech history! 💀 Someone brags they "made an entire website with ChatGPT" (revolutionary, groundbreaking, Nobel Prize material 🙄) only to share their masterpiece via a LOCAL FILE PATH that only exists on THEIR computer! That's like saying "I baked you a cake" and then sending a picture of your refrigerator! The absolute DRAMA of thinking AI stole our jobs while not understanding how the internet works is just *chef's kiss* magnificent. Honey, if you can't tell the difference between a URL and a file path, programmers' jobs are safer than diamonds in a volcano!