Only Thing It Kinda Gets Right

The classic tech startup approach: facing a problem that could be solved with basic logic? Better throw a neural network at it! Nothing says "we're innovative" like using machine learning to make a sandwich when a simple if-else statement would do. It's like watching someone deploy a supercomputer to calculate 2+2 while wearing a "disrupting the industry" t-shirt. Venture capitalists just can't resist that sweet, sweet ML buzzword, even when the only thing being disrupted is common sense.

Congratulations, you've just reinvented rubber duck debugging but with extra steps. Turns out, articulating your problem clearly enough for an AI is the same mental process that makes you realize the solution yourself. The real ChatGPT was the brain cells we activated along the way. The irony is delicious - AI researchers discovering that humans think better when forced to explain things clearly. Next breakthrough: water is wet.

Oh god, this is brilliant. Just imagine all those LinkedIn posts now: "Our new cocaine-powered chatbot will revolutionize customer service!" or "Top 10 ways cocaine will disrupt your industry!" The tech hype cycle and the actual cocaine cycle have the same phases: initial euphoria, inflated expectations, crushing disappointment, and somehow still costing you all your money. The only difference is one crashes after 20 minutes and the other after your next funding round.

The modern developer's ark is a bizarre menagerie of code Frankenstein'd together from various sources. Up top, we've got the majestic AI tools (Claude, Gemini, ChatGPT) and the trusty GitHub repos we "borrow" from, plus those YouTube tutorials we frantically search at 2PM when nothing works. But when the client shows up? Suddenly we're presenting some unholy chimera of code that barely functions but somehow ships. The client's reaction is universal: "What the hell is this?" while we stand there pretending this abomination was our plan all along. The greatest skill in modern development isn't writing code—it's explaining why your code looks like it was written by five different people with conflicting goals... because it was.

Ah, the existential crisis of modern programming! That moment when GitHub Copilot is silently judging your spaghetti code while you spiral into imposter syndrome. Remember when we used to worry about Stack Overflow judging us? Now we've got AI watching our every keystroke, probably thinking "I could've done that in 2 milliseconds." Yet here we are, still employed despite our "junior skills" because someone needs to explain to management why the AI hallucinated an entire authentication system. Cherish these moments—soon we'll all just be prompt engineers for our robot overlords.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY! 💅 Developers gleefully celebrating AI replacing customer support? *chef's kiss* Journalists getting automated? *slow clap* But the MOMENT AI comes for THEIR precious jobs? Suddenly it's a national crisis! The panic in those eyes when the robot revolution reaches their cubicle is EVERYTHING! It's giving "rules for thee but not for me" energy and I am LIVING for this karmic comeuppance! The tech world's selective outrage is simply *too* delicious!