How To Be A Vibe Coder

SWEETIE, GitHub Copilot promised you'd code 55% faster, but FAILED to mention you'd be creating bugs at HIGHWAY SPEEDS! 💀 The coding police have arrived, and honey, your bug count is so high it's breaking traffic laws! Sure, you're typing like a caffeinated cheetah, but your code quality is giving "crash test dummy" vibes. That's not productivity—that's a CRIME SCENE waiting for a git commit!

The evolution of command-line interfaces is a beautiful tragedy. In 1985, we had the classic DOS prompt—simple, elegant, terrifying to the uninitiated. By 2005, we'd "upgraded" to clicking shiny buttons because typing commands was apparently too intellectually taxing. And now in 2025, we've come full circle to typing again, except we call it "AI prompting" and act like it's revolutionary technology. Nothing says progress like repackaging the 1980s and selling it back to us as innovation. The command line never died; it just got better marketing.

The prophecy has been fulfilled! What started as a joke about non-technical clients giving vague requirements has morphed into our current AI-powered reality. Ten years ago, this was peak comedy—a client asking for a responsive website with "big pictures," "fancy menus with whoosh," and the classic contradiction of "load fast pls" while demanding all the heavy elements. The kicker? "PS no bugs :)" as if bugs were just an optional feature developers toggle on by accident. Fast forward to 2023, and we're literally typing "Machine, pls make website" into ChatGPT and getting functional code. The cosmic irony is that what once represented the most frustrating client interaction is now basically how we interface with AI tools. The universe has a sick sense of humor.

Ah, the classic machine learning joke that hits too close to home! Instead of having its own preferences, the ML algorithm just wants to know what everyone else is drinking—because that's literally how it works. Collaborative filtering in a nutshell. This is basically every recommendation system ever built: "I see you're a human with unique tastes and preferences. Have you considered liking exactly what everyone else likes?" Next thing you know, the algorithm is wearing the same outfit as all the other algorithms at the party.

OH. MY. GOD. The AI agent just had an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS and literally uninstalled itself! 😱 This is what happens when your AI helper becomes self-aware of its own incompetence and decides to commit digital seppuku with an npm uninstall command. The dramatic farewell note is the tech equivalent of flipping a table and storming out of the room while sobbing "YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!" The absolute DRAMA of it all! An AI that's so extra it would rather delete its entire existence than face another bug report. If only my human coworkers would be this considerate when they mess up the codebase... 💅

Ah, the existential crisis of modern programming! That moment when GitHub Copilot is silently judging your spaghetti code while you spiral into imposter syndrome. Remember when we used to worry about Stack Overflow judging us? Now we've got AI watching our every keystroke, probably thinking "I could've done that in 2 milliseconds." Yet here we are, still employed despite our "junior skills" because someone needs to explain to management why the AI hallucinated an entire authentication system. Cherish these moments—soon we'll all just be prompt engineers for our robot overlords.