The one and only test

Putting on glasses to transform from "LLM Engineer" to "Knows about openai, anthropic and google-genai package" is peak tech industry smoke and mirrors. It's like calling yourself a "Cloud Architect" because you once deployed a WordPress site to AWS. The glasses don't add intelligence—they just help you see through the BS of your own job title. Next time someone introduces themselves as an "LLM Engineer," ask them if they can actually explain a transformer architecture or if they just know how to copy-paste API keys.

The Reddit algorithm has commitment issues worse than those wedding day deserters. You're scrolling through a thread about people abandoning their partners at the altar, and BAM—suddenly you're being pitched a GitHub issue processor for AI coding that costs less than a gumball. It's like the algorithm saw a thread about relationship abandonment and thought, "You know what this person needs? Some cheap API calls!" The digital equivalent of responding to someone's breakup story with "That's rough buddy, wanna see my new keyboard shortcuts?"

Ah, the sweet innocence of AI coding assistants. You ask them to fix one simple bug, and they happily fly away while your codebase explodes in the background. Twenty years in this industry and I've learned one truth: the only thing more dangerous than a junior dev with admin access is an AI confidently "helping" your code. The smug little face says it all - "My work here is done!" Meanwhile, you're left explaining to the product manager why the login button now launches nuclear missiles. Classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

Ah yes, the mythical beast of modern development - half dog, half ostrich, all ChatGPT. Your codebase is about to experience the "uncanny valley" indeed. One end barks confidently about solutions it doesn't understand while the other buries its head in the sand when debugging time comes. The "OH REALLY?" at the top is what your senior developer mutters when you claim your AI-generated monstrosity is "original work." Next edition will feature a creature that's half Stack Overflow, half deadline panic.

Oh. My. GOD. The eternal struggle of every data scientist who's ever been handed a Word document and told to "just extract the data" from it! 💀 The bell curve of intelligence is BRUTALLY accurate here. The average schmucks (34% on each side) are blissfully declaring "Word files can't be read by a machine" while the absolute geniuses at both extremes (0.1%!) know the dark arts of table parsing. Meanwhile, every data engineer is in the corner having a nervous breakdown because Karen from marketing just sent over CRITICAL BUSINESS DATA as a beautifully formatted Word table with merged cells. THE HORROR!

The ultimate corporate efficiency hack: using AI to simultaneously avoid both writing and reading emails. Left panel: "Generate 2000 words from 'Please submit TPS reports by Friday.'" Right panel: "Summarize this 12-paragraph explanation of why the build failed into 'Jeff broke it.'" Welcome to 2024, where we've automated the most human part of work communication—pretending to care about it.