Types Of Development

The eternal struggle between developers and project managers, illustrated by beavers. Developer starts Monday with grand visions of architectural brilliance, only for the PM to beg for mercy from yet another refactoring spree. Meanwhile, the codebase sits there with that stupid grin, knowing it's survived worse threats before. The cycle continues until retirement or the heat death of the universe, whichever comes first.

The classic "copy-paste my status update" workflow in its natural habitat. Left: Regular dog saying "nothing to report" on Monday (acceptable, it's Monday after all). Right: Buff Doge flexing the exact same update on Tuesday, because why waste precious keystrokes writing a new status when you could be doing literally anything else? The hallmark of a developer who has mastered the art of minimum viable communication during sprint standups.

Ah, the sweet sound of a developer who's been through one too many sprint retrospectives where nothing actually improves. What started as a manifesto written by reasonable people has morphed into corporate theater where we pretend estimating tasks with Fibonacci numbers and t-shirt sizes somehow makes software appear faster. Meanwhile, scope keeps expanding, burndown charts look like seismograph readings during an earthquake, and somehow we end with more points than we started with. That pie chart is the truest thing I've seen all day. 90% planning meetings where we argue if something is an 8 or a 13, and 10% actual coding squeezed in between "ceremonies." And don't get me started on the scrum masters who think "velocity" is something you can increase by having more meetings about increasing velocity. The real agile was the friends we made along the way... while hiding in conference rooms trying to get actual work done.

The mythical moment every developer dreams of but rarely experiences—convincing management to prioritize technical debt! The frog in formal attire represents that rare feeling of aristocratic triumph when your PM actually agrees to schedule refactoring instead of cramming in more features. Next you'll tell me they approved documentation time too? Pure fantasy!

The eternal struggle between product managers and developers, perfectly captured in police interrogation form. PM: "Why can't we just change it?" - the magical "just" that transforms 80 hours of work into a seemingly simple task. Meanwhile, the developer is speaking an ancient dialect of Technical Consequences that PMs physically cannot understand. The tech lead and manager are stuck in the middle, desperately trying to translate "this will break everything we've built since 2018" into "business impact terminology." It's like watching someone ask "why can't we just move this load-bearing wall?" while the architect has a silent panic attack.

The perfect representation of code review culture in the wild. Guy 1 frantically points out someone's terrible code like it's a five-alarm fire, while Guy 2 delivers the crushing reality check: absolutely nobody gives a damn. The same devs who'll argue for hours about tabs vs. spaces will happily ignore a production codebase that looks like it was written by randomly mashing a keyboard. Welcome to software engineering, where we're simultaneously perfectionists and completely fine with duct-taped solutions that "just work." The duality of programmer.