The Great October Tech Extinction

The Grim Reaper comes for us all, even operating systems. Windows 10 is being led to the afterlife, asking if it was a good OS. Death's brutal honesty—"MEH, BUT BETTER THAN 8"—is the software equivalent of "you weren't terrible, just aggressively mediocre." Microsoft's cycle of creating a disaster (Windows 8), following it with something less awful (Windows 10), then forcing everyone to upgrade again (Windows 11) is the tech industry's version of planned obsolescence. Pour one out for the OS that spent years desperately trying to convince you that Edge was a real browser.

The beautiful journey of watching your once-beloved PC deteriorate from "oh dear, oh dear, gorgeous" in 2024 to "you f***ing donkey" by 2026. In just two years, that machine went from being your precious baby to a sluggish betrayer that takes 10 minutes to boot up and sounds like a jet engine warming up. The relationship decay is REAL. What was once cutting-edge hardware is now struggling to open Chrome tabs, and you've gone from lovingly wiping its screen to aggressively slamming the keyboard when it freezes for the 47th time today. Time is cruel, thermal paste dries up, and your patience? Completely evaporated.

Microsoft OneDrive in its natural habitat: disappearing when you need it, reappearing when you don't. It's like that coworker who vanishes during crunch time but shows up immediately for free pizza. The cloud giveth, and the cloud taketh away – usually right before that important presentation. Classic Microsoft reliability... just slightly less predictable than a Windows update restart.

Nothing brings the most hardcore atheist to their knees faster than a BIOS update gone wrong. Suddenly you're bargaining with deities you didn't believe in 5 minutes ago. "Please, if you're up there, just let my computer boot ONE more time so I can restore the backup I definitely didn't make." That moment when your fancy computer science degree means absolutely nothing against the primal fear of bricking your motherboard.

The great console migration has finally happened. After 7 years of PlayStation loyalty, the frog and his buddies have ascended to PC gaming. Probably took that long just to save up for the graphics cards. The real achievement isn't the hardware – it's maintaining the same friend group for 7 years without someone getting married, having kids, or developing a sudden interest in cryptocurrency.

Ah, the eternal wait for SteamOS 3.0 desktop release – the final boss before countless Windows refugees make the leap to Linux. Valve's been teasing us since the Steam Deck launched, and here we all are, desperately begging Gabe Newell like he's some digital deity holding the keys to our Windows-free future. Meanwhile, most Linux veterans are just sitting back thinking, "Just install Arch and be done with it, you cowards."