The Resolution Revolution

The classic developer life cycle: spend a decade mastering JavaScript, and all you get is older. Notice how they didn't mention getting rich or successful—just "not young anymore." The punchline hits harder than a production bug on Friday afternoon. Also, they spelled "JavaScript" as "JavaScipt," which is either a typo or the perfect metaphor for how JavaScript itself feels—almost right, but something's definitely off. And that 420 likes? Chef's kiss for the cosmic irony of getting high engagement on a post about life's disappointments.

That moment when your trendy "vibe coder" with their bootcamp certificate and chicken hat finally meets production code. The senior dev just watching as reality hits harder than a merge conflict on Friday afternoon. Three eggs on the floor already—each one a failed deployment. The chicken's like "You said you knew JavaScript?" and the dog's just sitting there with that thousand-yard stare that screams "I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm in too deep to admit it now."

Guy's surname is "Wu" and some form system decided that two characters just isn't enough for a last name. Because clearly, every database architect in history assumed all humans follow the same naming conventions. The validation rule says minimum 3 characters, and Wu says "I exist." Meta's official account responding with "wuhoooo!" is either peak corporate humor or someone in their social media team is having way too much fun. Fun fact: This is a classic example of Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names . Names can be one character, they can have no last name, they can be symbols, they can change daily. Your regex won't save you.

The programmer's secret calendar language! Those green squares in the GitHub contributions graph spell out "HOLIDAYS" when viewed by date. Non-technical managers just see random days off, but fellow devs recognize the sacred art of commit-graph-art. Taking PTO to complete your contribution masterpiece is peak developer dedication. The perfect crime—your manager thinks you're on vacation while you're actually cementing your legacy in version control history.

The sheer BETRAYAL when you discover this absolutely gorgeous open source project that could solve all your problems, change your life, and possibly bring world peace... only to run npm install and watch it crumble into a thousand dependency errors like a sandcastle in a tsunami. Nothing quite captures the emotional journey from pure joy to utter despair like Baby Yoda going from adorable excitement to dead-eyed disappointment. You found THE project, the one that does exactly what you need, has a beautiful README, and then... it hasn't been updated since 2019, requires Node 8, and has 47 critical vulnerabilities. Cool cool cool. The worst part? You'll still probably spend the next three hours trying to make it work instead of just writing it yourself from scratch.

Ah, the eternal database dilemma! The colored figures represent different database options trying to lure our poor developer (white figure) with their flashy features and dollar signs. MongoDB (purple) flashing its JSON documents, Oracle (brown) flaunting its enterprise price tag, and Neo4j (green) showing off its graph relationships. But then... along comes SQLite (yellow) with its elephant-sized PostgreSQL compatibility and simple file-based structure. Our developer instantly falls in love with the database that doesn't require a second mortgage or a PhD to operate. It's like dating apps but for databases—swipe left on complexity, swipe right on "just works."