The Resolution Revolution

The starter pack nobody asked for but everyone recognizes! Fresh CS students hitting Reddit with their entire arsenal: a Hello World program they're weirdly proud of, VS Code and Nodejs as their "professional stack," and the classic "submit assignment through Canvas by frantically clicking upload" deployment strategy. The semicolon hunting memes and Minecraft-inspired junior/senior comparisons are just *chef's kiss*. It's like watching yourself from 3 years ago and cringing so hard your mechanical keyboard might break.

The eternal frontend vs backend war continues! Frontend devs claim their job is harder while backend devs silently judge them. Then suddenly, the UX designer enters the chat and everyone runs for their lives. Nothing says "I've made a terrible career choice" quite like trying to center a div while simultaneously satisfying the designer who just had another "brilliant" idea involving parallax scrolling and microinteractions that "shouldn't be too hard to implement." The circle of blame is complete!

The universal startup formula: someone with zero technical knowledge but a "revolutionary idea" chasing down the nearest programmer they can find. "I'll handle the business side" translates to "I'll take 90% equity while you build the entire product." The programmer's running away is the most technically accurate part of the whole scenario. Just another day where someone thinks their Uber-but-for-dog-walkers concept is worth billions while the implementation is apparently just "some coding stuff."

The package manager betrayal saga! When you use npm to install pnpm, you're essentially using the old tool to birth its replacement. The cat's face of pure existential dread says it all—watching as you cuddle with the shiny new package manager while npm realizes it's being phased out of your development stack. It's like hiring someone on LinkedIn to update your LinkedIn profile to "seeking new opportunities." The circle of JavaScript life is brutal.

The eternal workplace dichotomy laid bare! Designers will fight to the death over who came up with the rounded corner first, while programmers are basically running a communist utopia of code ownership. Left side: Designer 1 politely suggests they had similar ideas. Designer 2 goes full rage mode, accusing theft like it's the heist of the century. Right side: Programmer 1 openly admits to code theft with zero shame. Programmer 2 responds with the ultimate defense mechanism: "It's not my code" – the programming equivalent of "I don't even want it anyway." Welcome to software development, where nobody wants to own the bugs but everyone wants credit for the pretty buttons.

Nothing quite captures the existential dread of job hunting like facing the final boss: Job Requirements. That intimidating blue monster towers over your tiny developer self, making you question if you're worthy enough to even apply. Then LinkedIn swoops in with its empty "I believe in you!" encouragement – as if that somehow negates the need for 10 years of experience in a 3-year-old technology. The Requirements monster remains unmoved by such hollow platitudes, standing there like "That's cute, but do you have a PhD in quantum computing to build this basic CRUD app?" Pro tip: Apply anyway. The Requirements monster is often just a wishlist written by someone who thinks "junior developer" means 5 years of experience and the ability to reverse binary trees while blindfolded.