The Matrix Predicted Cookie Consent

The existential crisis of JavaScript in two panels. Top: sad face, "Nobody understands me." Bottom: sudden realization, "Maybe I'm JavaScript." JavaScript: the only language where [] == ![] is true, typeof NaN is "number", and adding arrays gives you strings. No wonder therapists refuse to take JS as a client – its issues are beyond professional help.

When a dropdown explicitly tells you not to select something, it's basically sending an engraved invitation to every developer's curiosity. That "Only for Admin Use" option might as well be labeled "Click Here to See What Happens." Nothing says "robust security model" quite like putting admin privileges in a user-facing dropdown and just hoping people follow instructions. It's the digital equivalent of putting a cookie jar on the counter with a sticky note saying "Please don't eat" and expecting that to work.

The tech industry's collective amnesia is truly spectacular. First, we survived the video game crash of '83, then the dot-com implosion, followed by crypto's rollercoaster of disappointment. Now we're watching the AI hype train barrel toward the same cliff while techbros insist "but this time it's different because GPT-5 and 6!" It's like watching someone confidently build a sandcastle below the tide line for the fourth time. History doesn't repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme... with a neural network-generated beat drop.

The programmer's secret calendar language! Those green squares in the GitHub contributions graph spell out "HOLIDAYS" when viewed by date. Non-technical managers just see random days off, but fellow devs recognize the sacred art of commit-graph-art. Taking PTO to complete your contribution masterpiece is peak developer dedication. The perfect crime—your manager thinks you're on vacation while you're actually cementing your legacy in version control history.

The secret to web developer wealth revealed: sending a "Request" and getting paid for a "Reponse" (yes, with that magnificent typo). This is basically the world's simplest business model - ask server for money, server gives money back. If only it were that easy! The real irony is that most webdev boyfriends are actually sending thousands of requests just to get a response that says "404: Money Not Found." The relationship between client and server is the only stable relationship in their lives.

The eternal bait-and-switch of programming life. You start a project thinking "I'll just use this simple framework" or "This should only take an afternoon," and suddenly it's 3 weeks later and you're deep in Stack Overflow threads from 2013 trying to figure out why your perfectly reasonable code is being interpreted as an arcane summoning ritual. The optimism-to-despair pipeline is the most reliable infrastructure in tech.