The Matrix Predicted Cookie Consent

The eternal shortcut of the desperate developer. You're asked to fix lint errors in a merge request, but instead of actually fixing the underlying code issues, you just slap an eslint-disable-next-line comment and call it a day. It's like putting a piece of tape over your check engine light and considering the car "fixed." Sure, the PR will pass now, but we all know what you did... and we've all done it too when deadlines loom. Technical debt? That's a problem for future you!

Who needs human companionship when you have multiple screens to keep you warm at night? The natural evolution of comfort: pets (entry level), significant others (intermediate), and finally the elite tier—sleeping with your laptop, phone, and probably a tablet you forgot about under the pillow. The soft glow of screens is basically the same as emotional connection, except it doesn't ask about your feelings or steal the blanket. Bonus: your devices actually heat up the bed, unlike that cold-footed partner who'd just use you as their personal space heater.

Government agencies finally entering the digital age but making the worst possible tech choices? *Chef's kiss* Nothing says "we hired consultants from 2003" quite like rejecting clean, lightweight JSON in favor of bloated XML files that require a PhD to parse. The kind of decision that makes developers contemplate career changes to literally anything else. Fun fact: Some government systems still use COBOL, a language older than the moon landing. At this rate, they'll discover JSON around the same time we colonize Mars.

Ah, JavaScript's type coercion explained with toilet paper. Pure genius. Non-zero value: Has toilet paper. Works as expected. 0: Empty roll but still there. Technically exists but utterly useless. null: Just the holder. Someone deliberately removed the toilet paper. undefined: No toilet paper holder at all. Whoever built this bathroom forgot a critical component. And yet somehow all of these evaluate to false in an if statement. JavaScript, where the rules are made up and the types don't matter.

The eternal cycle of side project enthusiasm. Top panel: Day 1, euphoric excitement, telling everyone how revolutionary your idea is and how you'll finish it in a weekend. Bottom panel: Day 3, staring blankly at your terminal as you realize you've created an unholy abomination of dependencies that would make Cthulhu weep. That API key commit to main branch? Chef's kiss of despair. The only thing growing faster than your git commit messages is your collection of Stack Overflow tabs.

The eternal WebP struggle summed up in one SpongeBob meme. You've got a fancy new image format that's supposed to be the future of the web - smaller file sizes, better quality, what's not to love? Then reality hits. Everything claims to support WebP until you actually try to use it. "Oh yes, our platform handles WebP!" they say confidently. But when you actually attempt to upload one, suddenly it's "PNG/JPG ONLY" like you're some kind of digital criminal for trying to use modern technology. Five years of hearing "WebP is the future!" and I'm still converting everything back to JPG because some random API decides WebP is too exotic. Classic case of "we support it" vs "we actually tested it."