I Use Vim Btw

The tech evolution iceberg is the perfect personality test for developers. Started with Windows and macOS? Basic normie. Running Linux/Windows dual boot with Firefox? Congrats, you've achieved tech bro status. But the real fun starts when you hit the nerd level with Vim and full disk encryption. The basement dwellers are running custom kernels and using IRC like it's still 2005. "What messaging app do you use?" "Oh, just /bin/dash, you wouldn't understand." Then there's the glowie tier with encrypted GRUB and air-gapped machines. These folks compile their own compilers because they don't trust the ones that compiled the compilers. And finally, the ascended beings who've transcended physical hardware entirely. They probably run consciousness.sh directly on the universe's quantum fabric. The rest of us are just trying to remember our WiFi password.

Remember when programmers were basically digital demigods who could craft mission-critical code for lunar missions without breaking a sweat? Yeah, me neither. Today's reality is more like staring blankly at a screen, asking ChatGPT to fix our semicolon errors while we're trapped in Vim because apparently that's still a thing in 2024. And let's not forget the classic "fix one bug, spawn three more" - nature's way of keeping us humble. The golden age of programming never existed. We just replaced "I don't know how to do this" with "I don't know how to ask AI to do this for me."

The evolutionary stages of developer brain expansion! Starting with the humble Notepad (barely firing neurons), progressing to VS Code (some decent neural activity), then leveling up to Vim (significant brain illumination), and finally reaching enlightenment with a custom text editor you built yourself. It's the coding equivalent of going from crawling to building your own rocket ship. The true mark of a developer isn't the code they write, but how unnecessarily complex they've made their text editing experience!

The eternal addict's bargaining of every developer who claims their text editor will eventually rival VS Code after "just one more plugin." Neovim users are particularly guilty of this behavior—installing 47 plugins to get functionality VS Code ships with out of the box, then spending 3 days configuring it all in Lua just to feel superior while editing the same 5 files. The tears really sell the desperation.

The bell curve of developer intelligence strikes again. In the middle, the 68% majority just want a text editor that works without drama. Meanwhile, at both extremes of the IQ spectrum, we have the "VSCode is just simpler" crowd who can't be bothered to learn keyboard shortcuts. Then there's the crying Vim zealot, tears streaming down their face while screaming about efficiency and how Electron is bloated. And somewhere in the shadows, VSCodium users silently judge everyone while using essentially the same editor but without Microsoft's telemetry. The irony is delicious.

While Vim zealots and VS Code fanboys are busy screaming at each other with tears streaming down their faces, the true gigachad silently opens Notepad and gets the job done without spending 3 hours configuring plugins. Sure, it's like performing surgery with a butter knife, but sometimes you just need to edit a damn config file without your computer throwing a tantrum. The real flex isn't your fancy IDE—it's shipping code while everyone else is still arguing about tab width.