Make Compilers Great Again

Ah, the eternal cycle of library addiction! You find that shiny new package that solves all your problems (or so you think), and suddenly you're evangelizing it like you've discovered fire. Meanwhile, your codebase is already a digital hoarder's paradise with 1000 dependencies, and your coworkers are plotting your "accidental" deletion from the Git contributors list. The best part? Next week you'll be doing it all over again with another library because clearly, the solution to dependency hell is... more dependencies!

Content STOP DOING TYPES VARIABLES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MEANING. YEARS OF CODING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for assigning more than a CHAR. Wanted to assign meaning anyway for a laugh? We had a method for that: It was called "GUESSING" "Yes please give me NULL of something. Please give me ANY of it." LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the compilers debuggers we built for them. (This is SUPERIOR TYPESCRIPT, done by MASTERFUL Developers): type ConditionalTypeT T extends string type PizzaTopping "4" PromiseArrayRecordstring, unknown ? T extends "infer Firstinfer Rest? UppercaseFirst Rest ???? ??????? ???????????? "Hello, I would like never apples please" They have played us for absolute clowns.

Ah, the classic TypeScript compiler suggesting "tootlips" when you meant "tooltips". Because nothing says "intelligent code assistance" like suggesting a word that sounds like something a drunk person would say while trying to explain dental hygiene. The irony is delicious - TypeScript was created to help catch errors, yet here it is, confidently offering up nonsensical alternatives while your code burns. It's like having a spellchecker that suggests "covfefe" when you type "coffee".

Oh the classic "everything is fine" developer energy! 🔥 Git asks how it's going while showing a MASSIVE merge conflict in src.ts that can't even be auto-resolved! And our hero just smiles and says "yea" with dead eyes because what else can you do when your Tuesday morning starts with "Resolve all conflicts manually" messages? This is peak developer dissociation - when your code is literally on fire but you've transcended to a higher plane of acceptance. We've all been there, staring at those red conflict markers while our soul leaves our body! 😂

Content Self-driving Car Hits Robot Dog. JavaScript's NaN likely culprit. In a bizarre accident, a Tesla self-driving car hit a Boston Dynamics robot dog on a quiet suburban street. The car's driverless software is being blamed for the accident, as it failed to properly cast a string to a number, causing the car to believe the dog was a car from a competing manufacturer, which must be at all times engaged in a high- speed race to see who's best. We spoke to the car's manufacturer, who told us they are "working hard to fix the issue." "We should have migrated to TypeScript ages ago, but Bob from HR became a parent last summer and had been asking for a raise ever since," said the manufacturer. "We just couldn't justify the cost." "We never thought this would happen," they added. "NaN is, by definition, not a number, so we never thought it would be possible for nothing to cause something to happen. That's not the Christian way." The robot dog, for its part, was reportedly unharmed in the accident because its world-class Rust codebase makes it "virtually indestructible."

Content Alex Wang 3rd Data Science Business Algorithms 6d 4 Is your favorite programming language eco-friendly? Follow This interesting idea is actually from a serious paper, which delves into a . ..see more (c) C (c) Rust (c) C (c) Ada (v) Java (c) Pascal (c) Chapel (v) Lisp (c) Ocaml (c) Fortran (c) Swift (c) Haskell (v) C (c) Go (i) Dart (v) F (i) JavaScript (v) Racket (i) TypeScript (i) Hack (i) PHP Energy 1.00 1.03 1.34 1.70 1.98 2.14 2.18 2.27 2.40 2.52 2.79 3.10 3.14 3.23 3.83 4.13 4.45 7.91 21.50 24.02 29.30 19 22