Yet They Still Don't Work

Content ME: TESTING REVIEWING CODE FOR 2 HOURS FOR POTENTIAL VULNERABILITIES MEMORY LEAKS. JUNIOR DEV: COPY PASTING CODE FROM CHATGPT

Ah, the classic tale of two graphs! The top one from "trusted tech reviewers" shows all CPUs performing nearly identically - because they've zoomed in so much on a tiny performance difference that everything looks the same. Meanwhile, the CPU makers' graph looks like CPU8 is performing interstellar travel while CPU1 is struggling to cross the street. Same data, wildly different impression. It's the graphical equivalent of saying "technically I didn't lie" while completely misleading everyone. Next time your manager asks why your code isn't 500% faster than last sprint, just adjust your y-axis accordingly!

Content Elon Musk elonmusk Most of the recommendation algorithm will be made open source today. The rest will follow. Acid test is that independent third parties should be able to determine, with reasonable accuracy, what will probably be shown to users. No doubt, many embarrassing issues will be discovered, but we will fix them fast! Twitter Engineering Twit... 39m Today marks a new era of transparency for Twitter. I We're sharing much of the source code that powers our platform with the world. Show this thread 2:46 PM 31 Mar 23 2.1M Views 1,877 Retweets 180 Quotes 11.9K Likes

OH. MY. GOD. This is the filthiest thing I've seen since someone used tabs instead of spaces! 💅 AgentPorn.ai isn't your average sketchy website - it's a DEVELOPER'S GUILTY PLEASURE with categories that make me CLUTCH MY PEARLS! "Zero Downtime"? "Wet Deployments"?? "BARELY LEGAL REGEX"??? 😱 The way they've turned mundane development tasks into suggestive clickbait is SENDING ME! And that "NSFW: Not Safe For Waterfall" warning? Honey, Agile developers are LIVING for this drama! The build success with "420/420" tests passed? That's not just code, that's a LIFESTYLE CHOICE! This is basically developer thirst traps but for people who get excited about CI/CD pipelines and perfect uptime metrics. I'm simultaneously horrified and bookmarking it.

Ah, the sacred commandment of code maintenance! This plumbing masterpiece perfectly captures that moment when you've cobbled together some unholy abomination of code that somehow—against all logic and reason—actually works. Sure, that pipe is leaking through a crack, but water's still flowing where it needs to go, right? Just like that legacy codebase held together by Stack Overflow snippets and prayers. Touch it to "improve" things and suddenly you've got 47 new bugs and a weekend of emergency hotfixes. The true mark of a senior developer isn't writing perfect code—it's knowing exactly which janky solutions to leave the hell alone.

Ah, the classic bait and switch of tech hiring. You show up to the interview in your fancy suit (Tom from Tom & Jerry), answering questions about red-black trees and time complexity while sweating through your bow tie. Then six months later, you're in the trenches (buff Jerry), sleep-deprived, debugging legacy code written by someone who clearly hated humanity, chugging coffee at 2 AM because production is down and somehow it's your fault. The algorithm questions? Haven't used that knowledge once. But hey, at least you can tell your friends you're a "software engineer" while you're actually just Stack Overflow's most loyal customer.