The Real Magic: One Line Fix, Four Bugs Gone

Content Stop being lazy mom but mom I don't want to write my unit tests

The bar is so low it's practically a tripping hazard in hell. After staring at the same error message for 6 hours, getting a new one feels like winning the lottery. It's not actual progress—just a different flavor of failure—but in the debugging trenches, we take our victories where we find them. The empty coffee mug and crumpled papers really complete the authentic debugging experience.

Content Must haves this is an AND) N years in a software engineering role supporting real production systems at scale (for reasonable N). You've built shit; you've broken shit; you've gotten the 2am Pager Duty call and saved the day. Experience with Node, Postgres, Snowflake, PrefectAirflow, and other related technologies. If you think these are dumb choices, tell us why. Be smart and get shit done. Be a doer and a risk-taker. Nice to haves (this is an OR) Experience in web 2 ad tech, attribution, or user growth. You know how the Web 2 user sausage is made. Knowledge of and interest in crypto protocols and Web 3 projects. Experience with blockchain data tooling and infrastructure (what little there is). ProdrammerHumor io

Content File: 71Xz6ei.png (648 KB, 610915) Anonymous (ID: us 1iXD6Q) 060614(Fri)17:30:27 No. 549923098 be me world's greatest hacker 1 on FBI's most wanted list but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history just got done hacking entire internet now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com epic lulz one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM tells me that 4201337h4x0r 420, my 1 hackerbro, has been arrested they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode word on the street is he's already ratted me out look out window FBI helicopters circling overhead hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with open up internet explorer get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com oh yeah, forgot about that run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe now it's time for some world class hacking go to fbi.govhack fuck, there's a password something appears on the bottom right corner of my screen it's that goddamn talking paperclip "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" fuck off clippy, i'm trying to work here "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" click the little fucker just to make him shut up clippy gives me the password guess he's not so bad after all now that i'm in, i go to fbi. govhackhelicopters "congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" "A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" go with option E BOOM, baby flaming helicopters fall from the sky mfw

Content Q: When I was 4, my sister was 2. 1 am now 44. How old is my sister? Programmer: 44 - (4 - 2) 42 Tester: When I was 4, my sister was 2. I am now 44. How old is my sister? "As Answer a) Follow 97 Request 01 S 000 100 Answers Samuel Lipoff, studied at Harvard University Updated 17h ago This is a tough one. She might be 42, but she could be 41 or 43 also, since you don't say when your birthday is and her birthday is. Also, she could be dead. Finally, you might have thought she was your sister but actually your mom had an affair with another man and the woman who is 1-3 years younger than you is not actually your sister. But your mom may have given away your real sister for adoption, in which case she's probably older than you. See why it's tough? Finally, what if you think your sister is dead, but she actually has become an astronaut on a secret government project for near light-speed travel? Then your sister would be aging more slowly than you, so she could potentially be even younger than 41

Ah yes, the presidential decree of bad programming practices. Nothing says "Make Software Great Again" like starting arrays at 1 (a crime in most programming languages), using only global variables (the radioactive waste of code), and deploying untested code straight to production on a Friday (the ultimate "I hate my weekend" power move). It's basically an executive order to create job security through chaos. Ten years of debugging later, you'll still be finding remnants of this administration in your codebase.