A Simple Spell

Content Walf walfieee Follow escape room concept: - you are a software engineer - there is a production issue related to a legacy codebase - no one knows how it works - various credentials are scattered around the office on post-it notes -there's some printouts of git diffs - you have an hour to fix this 5:36 am - 18 Jan 2018 6,627 Retweets 14,204 Likes 356 17 6.6K 14K

Content Nick Zorchenhimer Found this in production today. I need a drink. public static bool CompareBooleans (bool orig, bool val) return AreBooleansEqual (orig, val); internal static bool AreBooleansEqual (bool orig, bool val) if(orig val) return false; return true; 1 12:54 AM 31 May 19 Twitter Web Client 2,519 Retweets 7,054 Likes 17

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Scientists: "Let's understand why our experiment worked so we can replicate it and advance human knowledge." Programmers: "Dear god, nobody commit anything to the repo. I fixed the bug by removing a semicolon and adding it back. I have no idea why it works now, but if anyone breathes on this code it'll probably explode." The true mark of an experienced developer isn't writing perfect code—it's the haunted look they get when something unexpectedly works on the first try.

Ah, the classic junior dev documentation approach: when in doubt, take a screenshot, add some ALL CAPS text pointing to the obvious, draw an arrow, and don't forget that official signature of approval! This is peak "documentation complete" energy. The button literally says "PUSH TO LOCK" on it already, but our enthusiastic junior has created a whole supplementary user manual for this complex system. Next sprint feature: a 50-page PDF explaining how to use the office microwave.

Ah yes, the classic "596523 hours 14 minutes" power mode option. That's approximately 68 years of screen time before your device goes to sleep. Perfect for those who want their great-grandchildren to see that half-finished code they were working on. Still more reasonable than some Windows update timeframes.