The Duality Of Tech Advice

Grandpa Simpson is basically every senior dev watching juniors slap flex justify-between items-center p-4 rounded-md shadow-lg on everything without understanding what a float is. The CSS purists are sitting on their tree stumps of righteousness while the rest of us are just trying to ship products without writing 200 lines of media queries. Yes, frameworks can be overkill, but have you tried centering a div without one? That's the real horror story.

The AUDACITY of developers thinking they're coding geniuses while their entire app is basically a yacht being dragged by a truck labeled "node_modules" containing 1000 open source packages! Honey, you're not writing code—you're just playing LEGO with other people's blocks! That smug little horse on the yacht thinking they're Captain Code while the REAL heroes are towing their entire career behind them on the highway of dependency. The delusion is BREATHTAKING! 💅

Initially excited to help a coding newbie until they mention the dreaded R-word! Those 17-step "Frontend Roadmaps" with 47 frameworks, 23 build tools, and an arbitrary timeline that makes you question your life choices. Real devs know the truth: you learn by building stuff and Googling errors until 4am, not by following some color-coded flowchart that'll be obsolete before you finish reading it. The only accurate roadmap is: 1) Build something 2) Break it 3) Fix it 4) Repeat until employed.

The dream: "I'll use Flutter and write my app once for all platforms!" The reality: You end up writing it twice anyway because something always breaks on either Android or iOS. The bell curve shows that the average developers (the 68% in the middle) smugly believe cross-platform tools save time, while both the complete novices and the battle-scarred experts (the 0.1% on both ends) know the painful truth. Cross-platform frameworks are basically the tech equivalent of those "one size fits all" clothing items that somehow manage to fit nobody correctly.

Ah, the sweet release of framework fatigue! That moment when you've been drowning in an endless sea of JavaScript frameworks—React today, Vue tomorrow, Svelte next week—and finally say "nope, I'm done." The spiritual rebirth of crawling back to jQuery feels like emerging from a baptismal pool of complexity. No more dependency hell, no more webpack config nightmares, just good ol' $('.selector').doStuff() and suddenly you're sleeping like a baby again. Framework FOMO? Cured! Who needs 17MB of node_modules when you can have a single 30KB file that just works? It's like trading in your experimental rocket ship for a reliable bicycle—sure it's not as flashy, but you'll actually reach your destination without exploding!

That 45-year-old senior developer who's been writing COBOL since the Clinton administration trying to fit in with the Gen Z junior devs who keep talking about "based" React hooks and "no cap" TypeScript features. Nothing says "I understand youth culture" like carrying a skateboard you've never ridden and wearing a red beanie in a 72-degree office.