I tried to combine Go, Python, and Rust and this is where I ended up

Finally, a political compass that makes sense! Instead of left vs. right, we've got "System Lang" vs "Toy Lang" - because nothing starts a flame war faster than calling someone's favorite language a "toy." And instead of authoritarian vs libertarian, we've got "Obsolete Lang" vs "Nu Lang" - where COBOL programmers are still making bank while the rest of us chase shiny new frameworks every six months. The placement is savage. Assembly and C sitting proudly in the "real systems" corner while Python and Ruby hang out in the "scripting for children" zone. And poor Brainfuck got exiled to the furthest corner possible - exactly where it belongs. This is basically a Rorschach test for developers. Whatever quadrant your favorite language is in tells everyone exactly what kind of programmer you are... and whether anyone wants to sit next to you at lunch.

THE TRAGEDY! She wants to be the : in his code, but he codes in Python where indentation rules and colons break hearts! In any other language, they could've had their semicolon love story, but Python said NOT TODAY, SWEETHEART! Her dreams of being an essential syntax character CRUSHED by whitespace significance. A romance DOOMED by language choice! The ultimate star-crossed lovers of programming syntax!

Content Hey, are you sleeping? Yes, now shut up WTHTUNNVIO If pip and pm servers go offline forever, how will you write the required modules form scratch ???

Content "Where does it hurt?" Headache Stomach Trying to understand ache numpy axis rules

Content GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE! Recursion chomp GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE! chomp

Content HEY, LOOK, WE HAVE A BUNCH OF DATA! I'M GONNA ANALYZE IT. NO, YOU FOOL! THAT WIlL ONLY CREATE MORE DATA!