When your team successfully hits the deadline

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content WELCOME TO SPRINT PLANNING WHERE THE RULES ARE MADE UPAND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER. ProarammerHumor.io

Content Am Devloper iamdevloper Following 1969: -what're you doing with that 2KB of RAM? -sending people to the moon 2017: -what're you doing with that 1.5GB of RAM? -running Slack 7:38 AM - 3 Nov 2017 32,940 Retweets 71,198 Like 484 17 33 7 O

Content ATRADE OFFERA receive: More powerful CPUs with every generation you receive: Less optimized code with every generation Programmers

The eternal duality of C++ development. On Linux, everything's a vibrant party where your code compiles with a cheerful g++ command and your makefiles actually work. Meanwhile, on Windows, you're trapped in a film noir nightmare where Visual Studio randomly decides your perfectly valid code is an abomination, and you're left contemplating the void while hunting down missing DLLs in the registry. The cigarette is optional, but the existential crisis is mandatory.

Content TO COMPLETE YOUR REGISTRATION, PLEASE TELL US WHETHER OR NOT THIS IMAGE CONTAINS A STOP SIGN: NO YES ANSWER QUICKLY-OUR SELF-DRIVING CAR IS ALMOST AT THE INTERSECTION. SO MUCH OF "AL" IS JUST FIGURING OUT WAYS TO OFFLOAD WORK ONTO RANDOM STRANGERS.