When Your Code Is Too Efficient For Your Own Good

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Content STOP DOING AGILE REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster "In order to reduce process we add more process" - statement dreamed up by the UTTERLY DERANGED POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT "Points represent complexity, not time" YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK?? People who want to "BURN DOWN" belongs in JAIL not run software teams Same goes for people doing GROOMING This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters: Planning Work ACTUA IDEAL Start: 50 points Done: 70 points Remaining: 100 points ????? ??? ???? They have played us for absolute fools

Support agent really out here suggesting port forwarding for a single-player offline game. That's like telling someone to check their WiFi password when their monitor isn't plugged in. The logic gap is so wide you could fit an entire datacenter through it. But sure, let's forward ports to servers that... don't need to be contacted... because there's no internet. Classic tech support script reading at its finest. Have you tried turning your offline game online?

You just speedran a six-month project in four hours and now you're having an existential crisis about whether to expose yourself as a productivity god or coast on easy mode for half a year. The NPC meme face says it all—your brain has officially blue-screened trying to calculate the optimal strategy. Here's the thing: if you tell your boss, you'll get a pat on the back and three more "urgent" projects dumped on your desk by tomorrow. If you stay quiet, you've basically just secured a six-month vacation where you can pretend to be busy while actually learning that new framework you've been eyeing. The real dilemma is whether your conscience can handle the guilt of getting paid to occasionally move your mouse so Teams shows you as "Active." Spoiler alert: Most devs would choose the latter and spend those six months refactoring code nobody asked them to touch, writing documentation that nobody will read, or finally figuring out what those weird Docker configs actually do.

Content Vishal VishalMalvi Me 1 week as a programmer : I have no idea what I am doing. Me 5 years as a programmer : I have no idea what I am doing but they are paying me more.

The classic vampire/Superman weakness meme but with a coding twist! Vampires cower from sunlight, Superman recoils from kryptonite, and developers? They'll do ANYTHING to avoid writing unit tests. The sheer panic on that developer's face speaks volumes about the universal dread of having to verify your own code actually works as intended. Why spend 20 minutes writing tests when you could spend 8 hours debugging in production instead? Pure engineering efficiency!