When It's Cold!

A critical MongoDB vulnerability that sat dormant for 8 years (2017-2025) just got discovered, letting attackers yank out heap data like passwords and API keys through a malformed zlib request. The bug was literally committed in June 2017 and merged into production. The fix? Written in December 2025. That's an 8-year nap. But here's the kicker: there are over 213,000 potentially vulnerable MongoDB instances exposed to the internet. The punchline? "ensuring that this exploit is web scale ." 😂 For context, "web scale" is a legendary meme from a satirical video where someone hilariously defends MongoDB's design choices with buzzwords. Now it's come full circle—MongoDB's vulnerability is literally web scale with 213k+ exposed instances. MongoDB also claims "no evidence" of exploitation despite the bug being trivially simple for 8 years. Sure, Jan. Oh, and they haven't apologized yet. Classic.

The massive tower labeled "ALL MODERN DIGITAL INFRASTRUCTURE" vs. the tiny rectangle labeled "AI" pretty much sums up the current state of tech hype. Billions in VC funding for what's essentially a fancy pattern matcher running on infrastructure built over decades. Yet somehow AI is going to replace us all by Tuesday. Sure thing, buddy. I'll start worrying when it can configure a printer without having an existential crisis.

The four horsemen of developer excuses, all deployed when your code mysteriously stops working in production. Option D is the programmer's equivalent of shrugging while slowly backing away from responsibility. "Works on my machine" has launched more Docker containers than any sales pitch ever could. The real answer should be E: "Let me check the logs and get back to you in 3-5 business days while I panic internally and question my career choices."

OH THE SHEER DEVASTATION! 💀 You've spent the last two hours crafting 200 lines of pure genius—algorithms that would make Dijkstra weep with joy—and then your computer just... DECIDES IT'S HAD ENOUGH OF EXISTENCE! That moment when your finger hovers over Ctrl+S but you thought "I'll save it after this one little change" for the 47th time in a row. Your computer is literally contemplating digital suicide rather than dealing with your chaotic coding habits! The universe's way of teaching you that auto-save features exist for a reason, you magnificent disaster!

Content Dad: Are you still watching machine learning tutorials on youtube? Me: did you check my internet history?! Dad: why can't you watch porn like a normal child? ProdrammerHumor.io

Content When you click open with Visual Studio instead of Visual Studio Code This little maneuver is gonna cost us 51 years