What I Say

Content IM THE BEST FLOW CONTROL NO. FM THE BEST FLOW CONTROL IF ELSE IF ELSE SWITCH CASE CASE WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK? OWLTURD.COM AMATEURS. AMATEURS. STI-MAP-STO-FUNCTION-VOIDES:

Content Sir, it finally worked! SIR, IT FINALLY WORKED! Scientists Great job? Now we need to figure out how and why Programmers IT'S A Now don't touch it or it MIRACLE! may never work again

Content Am Devloper iamdevloper Every now and then, ping one of your competitor's websites using an IE6 VM. Keep them on their toes. 72418, 4:57 AM 760 Retweets 2,536 Likes

The unspoken truth of software engineering: you can spend years mastering complex algorithms and distributed systems, but your family will only ever be impressed when you fix their printer. Nothing says "I have a computer science degree" like standing next to a Canon inkjet for 30 seconds, turning it off and on again, and being hailed as a technological messiah by your relatives. The formal attire and aristocratic frog just perfectly captures that misplaced sense of accomplishment we feel when solving the most trivial of technical problems for our non-technical family members.

Content DONT THREAD ON ME Roses are red Violets are blue Unexpected '' on line 32

Ah yes, the classic "let's sacrifice security on the altar of optimization." This database hero just casually suggested storing all passwords in a single table with foreign keys because "users reuse passwords anyway" – reducing storage from 100GB to 3GB. What a brilliant idea! Next up: storing all user data in a public GitHub repo to save on AWS costs. Security experts aren't having panic attacks right now, they're just doing synchronized fainting as an office team-building exercise.