We Are Not Alone, We Have A Computer

Who needs human companionship when you have multiple screens to keep you warm at night? The natural evolution of comfort: pets (entry level), significant others (intermediate), and finally the elite tier—sleeping with your laptop, phone, and probably a tablet you forgot about under the pillow. The soft glow of screens is basically the same as emotional connection, except it doesn't ask about your feelings or steal the blanket. Bonus: your devices actually heat up the bed, unlike that cold-footed partner who'd just use you as their personal space heater.